On Being Ignored

Picture by Michael Westley

Today, as I took the bus home from school, I saw two American girls on there that I have noticed before. I've met them once at a party, but we never really talked.Still, it's quite common for foreigners in Yantai to greet each other without ever having met before and strike up a random conversation, so imagine my surprise when I looked at them and they didn't look back but kept on chatting! I took my seat, and at the next stop they got off, walking by me as if I didn't exist (or was just another Chinese person they'd never met before).

The whole thing seemed kind of ridiculous, and I couldn't help wondering the rest of the way home, why they didn't acknowledge that I was there. Perhaps they don't really remember me and feel awkward; perhaps they are severely Euro-phobic, perhaps they thought I wasn't one of the cool crowd, etc. The ideas became gradually more ridiculous.

So next time you find yourself in a similar situation, do what I did in the end: absolutely nothing!
Unless you have a sure way of finding out why someone is ignoring you, just stop worrying about it. Clearly you were not meant to be great friends, and you may not be losing out on much not getting better acquianted with this person. 

Whatever someone may or may not think about you is often more of a reflection of them, than it is of you. You have little to do with other people's perceptions, because that's what they are: perceptions. They are not reality. 

After I gave up trying to figure out why I was being ignored, I looked around and saw how many people do notice me every day: The lady who gave up her seat for me, friends who pass me on their bicycles, students that see me from far away. It can be unsettling to find someone ignore you, but I'm sure it's the exception!