Moments That Matter Journal

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Forget about minutes that are worth hours. Some seconds in your life are worth centuries and then some because of their intense quality. They are the moments that make up your life and that, put together, might be the one movie you'd never get tired of.

Intense emotion has the ability to stretch time. And some moments have this emotional charge. Looking at my little girl's face, it seems like I'm floating into eternity. And anyone who's ever fallen in love knows what I mean when I say that a look can last a lifetime.

Today, I want to urge you to cherish those moments of pure living in the moment, and to write them down. Keep a Moments That Matter Journal.

Pick a notebook that you can keep on your bedside table (so the size of the notebook kind of depends on the size of that table). In nice, swirley letters, write "Moments That Matter Journal" on the first page. 
Now, every night, before going to bed, think of a moment that day that really mattered. One that you think will stick with you in the long run. 
Mind, this doens't have to be a 'happy happy joy joy' kind of journal. Life's made up of all kinds of moments, and the happy ones are only some of them. Moments of intense pain, sadness, fear, surprise, love, etc., all have a place. 

 What moment in the last week would make it into your journal? I hope you'll share in the comments below! Let me know you're out there!

Let Someone Help

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We live in a culture where independence and self-reliance are valued much more than cooperation or the ability to ask for help. But with that we not only make it more difficult for ourselves, we also limit the people around us. Being able to help a friend, a family member, someone in need, is a great boost to your mood and your feelings of self-worth.

So today I want to urge you to allow someone to help you, because it's a win-win situation. You get someone on your team helping you achieve what you want and you offer the other person the opportunity to feel and do good.

When your partner offers to cook you dinner, when your best friend asks to get you something for your birthday or when a colleague wants to take some work off your desk ... let them!
Remember how enjoyable it is to help someone? Why would you want to take that feeling away from the people that care about you? 
We often feel that accepting help is the same as admitting weakness or that it chips away at our independence. We don't want to be demanding, needy. 
An offer to help, however, is a chance to do something for someone else, too. See it that way and you may discover that you can exchange favors and grow closer instead of each trying to do everything on their own.

I'm in my third trimester and definitely need a bit of extra help. My husband has been great about helping me out, and my sincere appreciation and increased comfort makes it all worth it for him. It draws us closer in a time where it's really just my body going through these changes and the hubby can just see my belly grow but can't feel what I feel. This way we're already cooperating even though the baby is not born yet. It's a wonderful feeling for both of us.

Do you find it hard to let people help you? Do you offer to help others only to find they can't accept your help? Feel free to share below!

Ten 5-Minute Tips for a Happy Marriage

5 years ago ...

Today is our wedding anniversary. The 5th one already and probably the last one we'll be celebrating with just the two of us for a while. After this year, we'll have our little one with us, so we'll be making the most out of the time we have left.

Five years is not a very long stretch, but we have both already learned a lot during this time. We come from very different back-grounds and got married quickly and unexpectedly in order to be able to stay together. That meant we had to figure out some stuff along the way.

One of the reasons we are so happily married is that we love to do stuff for each other. Treating your partner doesn't have to take a lot of time or preparation.
Here are some of the things we have surprised each other with over the years:

1. Do a chore
   We both love to come home and find the place cleaner than we left it. Just a little clearing away can already make a big difference. It doesn't take much time, but the effect is very noticeable. My hubby loves coming home and finding the dishes are done, for example.
   
2. Leave a note
   Finding a note with a sweet message is always a lovely surprise. You can leave them at home or put them in between a book they're reading.
   
3. Give a back rub
   Especially a tense partner, but really anyone, enjoys the relaxing feeling of a massage. Just sneak up behind them and massage the shoulders and neck. It can make someone relax instantly and feel connected again even if they're mind is busy working over-time.
   
4. Bring a treat
   I love it when my husband brings home a chocolate muffin that I didn't expect, and vice versa. We don't do it too often, so it stays surprising.
   
5. Plan some together time
   When we are home together, it's sometimes easy to just each settle by ourselves (him in front of the computer, me doing my cross-stitch) and not take advantage of the time we have together. It's always nice when we make a plan to spend at least some time playing a game together or watching a movie. Be pro-active here and don't wait for your partner. If they are too busy, they'll let you know when you ask.
   
6. Prepare conversation topics
   It's not a sign of a bad relationship if you prepare topics to talk about. My husband and I can talk for hours without them, but we've learned a lot about each other by using a book with couple's questions and working our way through them. There are just so many topics that never get brought up in daily conversation.
   
7. Ask questions
   Communication is vital. Asking your partner questions about their day and their thoughts will make them feel like you really care. Pay attention to the answers and respond to them too. If they ask you something ("How was your day?") be sure to return the question too!
   
8. Say 'Thank You'
   Showing appreciation for what your partner does can make any task seem worthwhile. I wouldn't do the dishes, ever, if I thought my husband didn't care at all. Knowing he appreciates what I do makes me want to do it. It makes all the difference!
   
9. Bring up a fond memory
   You can use pictures or tell the story of a great time the two of you had together. "Remember when we..." It calls up all the feelings of that happy moment and brings them into the present moment. Using photo's and reminiscing about how different things were back then can show you both how far you've come and appreciate the time you've had together.
   
10. Cuddle, hug, kiss
    A hug out of nowhere is the best treat. It's warming, comforting, reassuring, and a great reminder of how loved you are. I've written about kissing before in this post. Want to know about the benefits of hugging? You can read this post too.

What do you do to surprise your partner? If you're single, what do you expect from a partner in a long-term relationship?
Every relationship is different, but there's something to learn from each of them. Use the comments to share anything you want!

Treasure Your Tears

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In a culture that revolves around happiness, there seems to be less and less room for those moments in between ecstasy. We try to forget that life is made up of more than joyful times and that we experience a whole range of emotions that make life complete.
As a very melancholic child, I was semi-addicted to sadness. I'm not that way anymore. At all! I'm overall a very positive and happy person. But that doesn't mean I can avoid all pain in my life. Or that I would want to. I've recently come across tears more than usual in my life, my own tears and those of others. And today I want to urge you to treasure the tears that make it into your life.

So what's the benefit of feeling sad? How could you savor tears? And why would you want to?

First of all, think about what your tears are telling you. You're unhappy, sure, but why? Something or someone that you deeply care about is affected in a negative way. 
Even if you wish the situation were different, right now, it's not. So rather than ignoring a bad situation, try to accept it and deal with it as it is. 

How can the tears help?
For one, they show you that you have something in your life worth crying over. That, in itself, is a blessing. Life is full of distractions we hardly care about. Nobody cries over a missed TV episode. If it makes you cry, it matters.

But tears are also a first step toward action. They express your grief and carry in them the desire the change the situation that has occurred. If that's not possible, your tears can at least show you that you have come to terms with and realized what happened. You've accepted. You won't cry if you're in denial. Then, grief is a first step to healing.


But don't only treasure your own tears; accept the tears of others also as a window into who they are. It takes a lot of courage for someone to cry in front of another person, and this vulnerability provides the opportunity to really connect and comfort. Having someone feel comfortable enough to do that shows how strong your relationship really is. Don't try to hush up someone's tears, or try to make them stop crying. Instead, accept it and try to receive them with an open mind and an open heart.

So far my opinion on what it means to cry. I realize it's kind of a dark topic, and that I may seem to go a little over the top, but I can't help carrying my heart on my sleeve. If you're a regular reader of this blog, you already know that. If you're new, you may find out soon enough.

I know it's a sensitive topic, so dare I ask?
How do you feel about crying? Be it by yourself or in company, do you try to avoid it altogether?

Write a Daily Gratitude List

Picture by Nannette Turner

One of the habits that I picked up last year was due to reading the book 'The Secret'. Some of the lessons of that book were a little far-fetched, and believing the universe will just give you anything you want is a little too easy for my taste, but I did take one advice to heart: to feel grateful every day for the things you already have in your life.

One way to help you focus on this is to write down the things you feel grateful for each day.

When you write your gratitude list and how you do it doesn't really matter. It's the effort of recognizing the things in your life that should be the focus of your effort. I like to write mine at the end of the day, going over the day in my mind again and feeling the joy and peace of mind that comes with reliving those special moments. I then fall asleep with a feeling of bliss and sleep better having put worries out of my mind.
But you could also keep the list with you and jot down things throughout the day as they occur to you. That way you will be reminded of seeing events in their most positive light and to feel lucky each and every moment.

Give it a try, you never know what it might do for you!

I don't think being grateful for what you have will necessarily get you more. It's not a quick-fix to becoming rich. But it does allow you to feel happier with what you already have, which will add riches of a much more worth-while kind to your life.

20 Things to Feel Grateful For Every Day!

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Recognizing the good in your life is a great short-cut to happiness. Finding out what you already have and how you really feel about it will show you that you may be much happier than you realize already. And to help you get along in counting the blessings in your life, I've assembled a list of 20 things we can all be grateful for every day (or at least the majority of us).

This list is guaranteed to cheer you up!

1. The fact that you're alive! Out of all the zillion possible human beings that could have been created, the fact that we are the ones that made it. Our parents met, they fell in love (or into bed drunkenly), out of all the possible combinations that could have come from that union, we are the ones that came into being. The chances of existing are so tiny that we should feel grateful every day to have made it.
   
2. To be living on a planet that not only sustains, but also provides for the life on it.
   
3. Your health.
   
4. For the food you can eat.
   
5. The ability to read, learn, experience life.
   
6. A brain that has the ability to comprehend its own magnificence.
   
7. Your family, the love they feel for you and you for them.
   
8. Your friends.
   
9. The roof over your head and walls around you that keep out the rain, wind or sunshine.
   
10. The clothes that keep you warm and protected.
    
11. The money that allows you to buy what you need.
    
12. The purpose in your life, be it work, study, taking care of the family or searching for a new purpose.
    
13. The kindness of strangers: a seat offered on the bus, someone who holds the door open, help bagging your groceries.
    
14. The warm fuzzy feeling of waking up and taking 3 extra minutes in a cozy bed.
    
15. A hot cup of coffee/tea/coco on a cold day. A smile when you're sad. A surprising ray of sunshine through dark clouds.
    
16. The amazing benefits of the modern world: your phone, computer, the internet, fridge, running hot water, etc.
    
17. The memories you can access whenever you feel like it.
    
18. The experiences that made you who you are today, be they bad or good ones.
    
19. The knowledge you have acquired over the years and how it benefits you every day.
    
20. The awareness of everything you can be grateful for.

It's not difficult to think of things to be grateful for. They will be different for everyone, but these 20 will be common to many of us. Being reminded of the things we take for granted can open our eyes to the wonders of life. 

Triple Inspiration: Thanksgiving Edition

I've been teaching all my students about gratitude this week, and will be doing next week. I'll write another post on the importance it has played in my life tomorrow (aka I will write it today and it'll be posted tomorrow!)

So this week I'd like to put the focus on feeling grateful, using some quotes to inspire you. Technically Thanksgiving of course celebrates the harvest and the sharing between two completely different cultures, but it's also a great time to take a moment of feeling grateful for what we already have, before heading out to become the mass-pre-Christmas-consumers that we are.

Get Productive!

"As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation 

is not to utter words, but to live by them."

(John F. Kennedy)

Get Happy!
"He is a wise man who does not grieve for the things which he has not, 

but rejoices for those which he has."

(Epictetus) 

Get Inspired!

"There is not a more pleasing exercise of the mind than gratitude.  It is accompanied with 

such an inward satisfaction that the duty is sufficiently rewarded by the performance."  

(Joseph Addison)

Busy Days Require Treats

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How do you keep from getting totally stressed out on your busiest days? If you're not in a 9-5 job (or even if you are) some days are bound to be busier than others. For me, as a private tutor, Friday and Saturday are my busy days, and I need something to treat myself during those days. So I've made it a habit to treat myself after my last class on Saturday, to make sure I make it through those rough days.

During our busy days, it's a great motivator and comforter to be able to look forward to a treat. It can be anything you enjoy: a nice hot bath, a pizza, a movie night with a friend, a nice glass of port. Important is that, just as much as those busy days, it becomes a regular part of your week. 

My treat? On my way back from the school I stop by the bakery to pick up a chocolate muffin. We don't really have cookies in the house, so something sweet really is a treat (unless I bake it myself). Knowing that after my class on Saturday I get those 5 minutes of pure chocolate-y happiness actually has me enjoy the busy hours. 

Rewards don't only work for children or pets, and they don't have to be given by others either. Treating yourself is the only way to make sure that the effort is worth the treat at the end. You're the best judge of your own effort and the reward that fits best.

Do you give yourself a weekly/daily treat? What effect does it have on you?

I love to read comments below! It really helps me get an idea of the post you readers enjoy. For those of you who would like to receive updates of these episodes, you can sign up for the RSS or e-mail feed at the top right of this website!

Write a Thank-You Note

Most of us are so used to the people around us, we sometimes take them for granted. Yes, I admit it, I do it too! We forget the little things that people do for us in our daily lives, because we've gotten used to them or are too buy to notice them. But stop to think for a moment of all the little things YOU do for someone else. That's easier to remember, right?
Maybe you did the dishes this morning? Did you hold the elevator? Did you surprise someone with a beautiful poem?

Thank-You-Note for my brother-in-law

Think about a person in your life that you see often, probably daily. Now, think about how this person has changed something in his/her behavior to accommodate you. What did they do? How does it make you feel?

Write your feelings on a nice card or a random piece of paper. Only handwritten notes allowed! Leave it for someone to find on this Thanksgiving Day. If you receive a Thank-You-Note, pay it forward!

Remembering Our Veterans

Photo by Tijl Vercaemer

Today is in both Europe and North America an important day. We remember the end of the World War I and all those who fought to protect their homeland and the homes of others. In Belgium and France, which both still carry traces of the trenches and where farmers still dig up bombs from time to time, this day calls us back to a time of horrors that are unknown to us now. But how do you get beyond the ceremony and find a meaningful way to personally remember fallen and surviving veterans?

A great way to pay our respects to the victims and the ones who lived through it is by looking around us and appreciating what peace has brought us. Notice the amount of wealth and stability we can live in, the many young men that are able to pursue other careers than those on the frontiers, and the feeling of safety that we can enjoy. 

But also take a moment to think about those who are still fighting and suffering in wars worldwide. There are people who wake up every day fearing for their lives, and the lives of those they love. Although their problems may seem far off, keeping in mind that our fathers, grandfathers and great-grandfathers were in the same position can help us relate and connect. 

I find that it helps me to remember and appreciate if I try to do some random acts of kindness throughout the day. I pay extra attention to those around me to see if there is some small kind of suffering I may be able to relieve.

Do you do anything special on this day? Does it mean anything to you?

On Being Ignored

Picture by Michael Westley

Today, as I took the bus home from school, I saw two American girls on there that I have noticed before. I've met them once at a party, but we never really talked.Still, it's quite common for foreigners in Yantai to greet each other without ever having met before and strike up a random conversation, so imagine my surprise when I looked at them and they didn't look back but kept on chatting! I took my seat, and at the next stop they got off, walking by me as if I didn't exist (or was just another Chinese person they'd never met before).

The whole thing seemed kind of ridiculous, and I couldn't help wondering the rest of the way home, why they didn't acknowledge that I was there. Perhaps they don't really remember me and feel awkward; perhaps they are severely Euro-phobic, perhaps they thought I wasn't one of the cool crowd, etc. The ideas became gradually more ridiculous.

So next time you find yourself in a similar situation, do what I did in the end: absolutely nothing!
Unless you have a sure way of finding out why someone is ignoring you, just stop worrying about it. Clearly you were not meant to be great friends, and you may not be losing out on much not getting better acquianted with this person. 

Whatever someone may or may not think about you is often more of a reflection of them, than it is of you. You have little to do with other people's perceptions, because that's what they are: perceptions. They are not reality. 

After I gave up trying to figure out why I was being ignored, I looked around and saw how many people do notice me every day: The lady who gave up her seat for me, friends who pass me on their bicycles, students that see me from far away. It can be unsettling to find someone ignore you, but I'm sure it's the exception! 

Fall Color Feast

Picture by Lee Cannon

It's that time of year when all around us the leaves are changing color. Every Spring and Autumn I'm torn between which season is my favorite, and this time I'm again noticing all the splendor of Fall in Yantai, China. It's probably the driest season here, which means that the leaves all seem to change color at slightly different times. So each tree has a whole range of different shades going from green to yellow, orange, red and everything in between.

Running around from one place to another, we don't always take the time to notice the changing seasons around us. It seems as if a year flies by unnoticed and we just need one of those little tricks to help us slow down time and make the most of every moment.
One of the ways to make time pass more slowly is by noticing the details around us more. It makes time expand in our mind at the present time and in our memory, because filling your mind with detailed memories of a certain day or couple of hours makes that time feel more intense after. That's why, in our memories, the weekend we spent sightseeing in France seems so much longer than the week of work before (for more on this see this post).

So take a moment this season to notice all the gorgeous colors around you and take a minute to breathe in the fresh autumn air! Sure, it'll come around again next year, but that's no reason to miss out this year.

Being more aware of the present moment is something I strive to about 50% of the time (aka when I'm not asleep these days).
Any other ideas of how to do this? Share your ideas, blog posts, articles, and so on, in the comments below!

Look on the Bright Side

Photo by Bruce Turner

The oldest advice in the book, and one I'm repeating today mainly because I need to remind myself of it.
I thought I was done teaching university students English here in China, turns out I'm not. Our boss had assured us we would only get two or three classes, but has set us up with a full schedule after all due to a teacher shortage.
So, not really what we were expecting or hoping.

That means it's time to take out those pink goggles and see the world in a whole new light: A bright light.
Teaching more classes means getting paid, keeping busy and active, meeting other foreigners on a more regular basis, etc. There's lots of good aspects too.

Just found out some bad news? Maybe you have to perform a task that you don't feel up to, or you need to meet with someone you really don't like. Maybe you just found out that an event that you'd been looking forward to, fell through. 
Take a few moments and try to spin the situation in the most positive light possible. 
Don't worry if it doesn't feel quite right yet. It takes a while for all those negative emotions to fade away. Try to regularly think of this task/event/change of plans in that positive light. Accept that there is nothing you can do to change it. Envision the positive results you will get once it's finished. 

Unpleasant tasks can come with great rewards, especially if they're challenging. Plans that fell through open up space to create new plans or take some you-time, and they can help you save money (if the plan was going to a show, for example.)

As you can tell, thinking positive is not easy. But it doesn't take a lot of initial effort, it just takes persistence. Write down some silver linings on pieces of paper and hide them where you know you'll find them (on the fridge, in your wallet, under your pillow).
We can't always control the way our lives unfold, but we can control the way we look at it.

Read the Label

"Cheese" by Oli Shaw

You know those small letters they have on clothes or on packages of food? You know how they got there? Years of consumer organizations struggling to get us, you and me, informed about what we're buying. We're used to seeing them on bottles, boxes and bags, but do you ever read them?

Well, it might not be such a silly idea.

While you're drinking your glass of juice for breakfast, read the information on the box. If you happen to have different boxes or bottles available, feel free to compare.
When you eat a snack, don't throw the wrapper out immediately but have a look at the ingredients on it. 
Buying a new t-shirt? There's a tag that will tell you where it was made. 

Even if you don't use the information, even if you don't change your mind based on it, it never hurts to be informed. Knowing what you put in your body is valuable, even if it is a dangerous chemical!

Reading these little words is a matter of seconds, but it can be a first step to living a healthier, happier and more satisfying life.

I once read a book (Food Rules: An Eater's Guide by Michael Pollan) which stated that if there is something on a food label that you don't understand, that you don't recognize as food, you should consider it a 'food stuff' instead of real food. Reading food labels I try to keep in mind that anything that looks like a chemical instead of a natural product is probably not that good for me. I'd rather eat sugar than high fructose corn syrup.
Reading the label on a bottle of juice, I like to see no more than: 100% juice (based on concentrate, in most cases).
Reading the labels on clothes, I love to see I am buying cotton or wool, and not acrylic or polyester. I also love seeing clothes with a fair-trade label instead of those made in Bangladesh or Thailand.

Whatever is on a label has been put there especially to keep you informed, usually against the will of the corporations who produce the product. It's your right to know.

Let Despair Inspire

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For those of you who have been keeping up with the news, the stories of the riots in London, and other big cities in England, can't have escaped your attention. I was reading up on some eye-witness accounts yesterday, and the words of teenagers who are stealing and destroying property, and I couldn't help feeling shocked, enraged, and in the end, desperate. A feeling of 'what has the world come to' overcame me, and I had a hard time finding anything positive left to focus on.

And then I read this story about an old Hackney woman who told off some of the kids on the street. She treated them as what they are: kids run amok. And in seeing the video (you can watch it here), I felt inspired again in seeing that the worst can often bring out the best in people.

Life will throw a lot of situations at you that you didn't prepare for, and that you feel you may be unable to handle. It can be full of heart-ache and tragedy. In moments like that, there is often a sense of despair that is incredibly hard to shake off. It's like we can't imagine how the world could possible ever be a good place again. I remember how learning about the holocaust left me feeling that way for a couple of days. 

But those moments, however horrendous they may be, also offer opportunities to go beyond our limits and show ourselves stronger and more resilient than we've ever been before.
In a couple of desperate moments, we can realize that caring about something so deeply, gives us a power that we may not have felt before.

My thoughts go out to all of those who are affected by chaos, violence and destruction, not only in London the last couple of days, but also in other places and at other times.
I hope that from all this pain, a new strength and a new sense of resolution can find its way to both victims and perpetrators.

Triple Inspiration: Kahlil Gibran Edition

It's Sunday again! The beginning of a new week beckons. Ready to be inspired to make the most out of every moment? You've come to the right place!

Every Sunday is Triple Inspiration Day here on MWH. You get three quotes that have taught me something valuable, and I hope they can do the same for you.  Today, the author of all of them is the famous philosopher and author Kahlil Gibran.
You can find the whole series of Triple Inspiration. through this link.

So, without further ado, here they are:

Get Productive!

 A little knowledge that acts is worth infinitely more than much knowledge that is idle.
(Kahlil Gibran)

Get Happy!

“When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.”

(Kahlil Gibran)

Get Inspired!

"The significance of a man is not in what he attains but in what he longs to attain."
(Kahlil Gibran)

MWH Travel Tips: 3 - Impression Diary

Keeping a travel journal can be quite a bit of work. Writing down a full overview of the day each night is not something I associate with taking a break. Writing is my work, although I love it (and couldn't NOT do it), I don't like to feel obligated. So I keep a small notebook with me, to jot down impressions whenever I feel like it.

My travel notebook.

I suggest you buy a notebook that you like, or find one that you already have but stopped using (if you're like me, there are about 20 of these around in your house somewhere).
Keep it in your daily backpack, with a pen/pencil close by or attached to it. 
Whenever you see something remarkable, or get a sudden moment of inspiration, write down a little note to remind yourself of it. What do you see? Why is it so remarkable? How does it make you feel? It only takes a couple of minutes to jot down the essentials.

You can use these notes to write journal posts later, making it easier to know what to write about, or to add to your photo-album later as anecdotes and explanatory comments. 
You may find that the optional nature of these notes makes you far more likely to write them down. And if you don't, there's no need to feel guilty, since they were optional to begin with!

Do you keep a travel journal? Do you blog while you're on the road? Why or why not?
I find that having a computer with me just leaves me out of touch with being out of touch.

Make a Promise ... and Keep It!

I am often tempted to go back on my plans. I'll plan to go out with a friend, but when push comes to shove, I think how great it would be to stay at home and just relax, not have to go outside, not have to dress properly, no expectations. It's so bad that I actually feel somewhat relieved when plans fall through, as if I was dreading something that's supposed to be fun. Used to drive my friends crazy!

It's not because I don't like going out. When I do go out, I have a great time, and I'm so happy I went. Maybe it's because I'm rather introvert and usually thrive when I'm alone with my Kindle or a blank notebook.
Either way, it just won't do! I'm missing out on not just stuff, but the stuff of life: Meeting other people in the real world, experiencing new things, enjoying the moment. I need those experiences not only to be happy, but to be a good writer too.

My solution? An elegant one: Promise to go.

Picture by Ditatompel

Making promises has fallen into disfavor. These days, we avoid them at all costs, because they make us accountable for circumstance, right? I mean, sure, I want to go out, but I just really have to work tonight, it's not my fault! 
Yes, it is.

A promise is unbreakable. It should not be used lightly, that's true, but it should be used from time to time. A true promise creates a bond of expectation between two people. It raises the stakes of the relationship. At this time of cynicism and individualism, that's something we've nearly lost. When a promise is kept, it enhances feelings of trust and connection between two people, when it's not kept, it decreases the degree of trust. 
Is that a risk you're willing to take? For me it is, because the pay-off can be great, and whether or not the pay-off happens, is up to me. If I really want to, I can keep every promise I make (because I AM careful to make ones I know I can keep). 

Raise the stakes on your relationships from time to time. They're worth it! It's the perfect antidote for the modern day complacency. Don't worry, you can always start small. "I promise to do the dishes if you cook" is popular in our house.

Do you usually keep promises? What kind of promises do you make?
I'll be the first to admit I don't keep every promise I make, but I keep most, which gives me some credit in case I break one from time to time.

Offer a Genuine Compliment

Picture by Studio Amore

I love getting compliments. Who doesn't? Although they can be uncomfortable to sit through (I always blush way more than is becoming) it's just wonderful to know that someone likes you/loves your style/thinks you're great at what you do. I recently received a great compliment from one of my students. You can read about it on my personal blog here (bilingual post: English - Dutch). As you can imagine, that one made my day!
So how does it feel knowing you have the power to do the same for someone else? It can be someone you love, an employee, or even a total stranger.

I suggest that you don't force this. Forced compliments sound an awful lot like insincere flattery. Chances are, if you're a positive person and you genuinely like other people, opportunities will pop up everywhere before you know it.
See someone wearing a dress you love? Tell them how much you like it! Does your friend look exceptionally good today? Have they paid special attention to their hair, clothes or accessories? Let them know you noticed.

Knowing that someone notices the little efforts we make to look good, do the best job we can and be the best person we can be, makes all the difference in keeping up that habit. 
"Wow, you look so toned. That work-out is really working for you!" may just be the best reason to exercise out there. Or at least, the most effective.

When someone compliments you, make sure to thank them for it. I know, sometimes it's not easy to smile back at those construction workers whistling at you, but they are really paying you a compliment.
Don't be too modest either. If you deny the compliment, you're denying the other person's feelings on the topic too. Instead, acknowledge the compliment with a simple "Thank you, that's so sweet of you to say," or something along those lines.

Do you get a lot of compliments? What are the best ones? What kind of compliments do you give?

This post was a suggestion from my dear sister Elise. She's such an inspiration to me. Full of positive energy and so unique!

Create a Desire Desktop Wallpaper Collage

I don't know if you've ever heard of The Secret (see this previous post for more), or what you think about it, but here's my twopence: I don't think the universe magically gives you stuff just because you want it. BUT, I do think that the idea of focusing on what you want can help you get it. How? By guiding your decisions to bring you closer to whatever it is you're wanting.
Once you're focused on, for example, becoming healthier, your mind will guide your decisions and actions in that direction. The same goes for making more money: You'll be more perceptive of the opportunities that might arise.
One of the ways I keep myself focused on the future I want (in this case my future home) is by making a vision wall desktop with a collage of what I desire most.

Step 1: think of the things you want most in your life, now or in the future. Look up some pictures on Google of these things, and save them to your computer. If it's an abstract concept, you can look for an abstract picture (a heart for love, an ocean view for peace and tranquility, etc.)

Step 2: open a Word file and tilt it so the page is horizontal (page layout --> orientation). Then cut out all the margins (layout --> custom margins --> put everything at 0). Start inserting pictures into the file, and move them around to where you want them. I'm sure you could use picture/image editing software as well, but I just haven't. 

Step 3: Put your file up on the screen so everything you want to include is shown. This is the dummy's way of creating a picture file. Press the 'Prt Scr' button at the top right of your keyboard and open Paint. Paste (Ctrl + V) and you have your picture!

Step 4: Go to your desktop. Right click, and select 'personalize'. Go to 'desktop background --> browse' and select your picture.
Voila! 

This is a picture of my desktop below!