10 Slow Breaths

I would recommend some kind of meditation to anyone and everyone, but I myself, NEVER meditate. I'm not the kind of person who enjoys sitting still for a long time not thinking about anything. I can't even turn of my mind while I'm in the middle of cooking or cleaning. I keep on an audio-book at those times, and enjoy the activities that much more as a result.
I do, however, take time to breathe and count in my head when I feel things are getting too rushed for my taste.

acobox.com

No need to go anywhere quiet for this exercise, you can do it anywhere, anytime. (I do suggest that in case you're in a car and feel the need or desire to close your eyes, you pull over first!)
Inhale deeply. See how your shoulders moved up? Don't do that! With the next inhalation, send your breath to your stomach. This way the air gets to the bottom of your longs, opening the little air sacs that don't get reached often. It's a great way to increase your lung capacity, thus sending more oxygen (=energy) to your muscles and brain.
Breathe in and out ten times. S  L  O  W  L  Y  ! With every breath, let go of tension. Your body should become softer, more flexible. Feel how the air enters your body, and leaves again. This should relax you to some degree pretty much instantly. Focusing on something different will have that effect.
If it doesn't help at all ... consider adding regular cocktails to your schedule!

There's more on breathing in this legendary Zenhabits post.
I use this exercise to re-focus, something I will talk about in a later post!


Have you tried it? Did it work?

How to Watch a 'How-To'

I love to learn. I'm not really keen on spending hours behind a desk cramming, but I love to acquire new skills or get new ideas. I have plenty of different ways of learning in my life. My family and friends teach me stuff, I make mistakes and learn that way, and - and this is by far the best way, I think - I just look up how to do things.
My favorite places? Videojug and eHow.

Think about something you'd like to learn about, or browse the websites for interesting ideas. I will usually end up in the crafts or cooking section, but also watch a lot on personal finance, farming and writing.
Choose a video that seems interesting and just play it. You have either learned something new or remembered something you already knew. You can ignore the information, disagree or try the activity. It's up to you, but that still gives you a lot more options than not knowing about it at all.

A note of warning: How-to videos are addicting! Ideally do this when you really only have 5 minutes.

I recently stumbled across this tutorial on how to make cinnamon rolls, and ended up making them the next day since it was a Saturday (my weekly bread baking day).

Money is Time

Time is NOT money. It's so much more valuable than that. If you run out of money, there's no doubt you'll be able to find some more at some point in the future. If you run out of time, that's it. You're done. At the end of your life, you might have some money left, but you'll be all out of time.

Of course we have to take time to make money, but we all take the reversed path just as often. Didn't we invest in a washing machine to save time washing clothes? Don't we use micro-waves because they cook food faster? How about the car we take instead of the bus? We bought those things using money.
The clearest example of this is when people hire other people to do stuff for them. People hire maids to clean, gardeners for the back yard and pay a restaurant to deliver food to their house.
So the next time someone says 'time is money', consider which one matters more to you.

When you're working late or stressing over a project and it seems like you're running out of time, stop for a moment to consider your priorities. What's more important to you, finishing this task, or enjoying the time you have? 
If you're a workaholic, do you value your time more than your money? Most people say that if they won the lottery, they'd stop working. That means, the time they save clearly matters more than the extra money they could make.
Do you make money just for the sake of making money? Or to be able to stop working at some point? Maybe it's not such a crazy idea to stop for a moment now and enjoy the time you already have.

 When a school asks me to teach yet another class, I usually stop and ask myself if I'd prefer to have that particular time of the day to myself. I've kept my Saturday and Sundays free, even though the potential classes I could teach are abundant. But I value those moments to write, read, and most importantly: BLOG!

Do you think your time's worth more than your money? Where do you spend money to save time?

5 TaskTo-Do List

This is not the most surprising activity I have suggested, but it is one of the most essential ones. To-Do lists not only help you stay on top of what you have to do, but also relief stress. How? If there's something you need to do, your brain might remind you several times during a day so that you don't forget it. Every time this happens, you get distracted from whatever you were doing to focus on what you're forgetting. Now, that doesn't sound very efficient, does it?

Just think of five things you'd like to accomplish that day. Make them activities that you can do in less than an hour (if they're longer, split them up). They don't have to be the only things you do that day, but if they're the most important, than you can rest easy in the end.

I suggest throwing away your list at the end of the day, or transfering the left-over activities to tomorrow's list. 
Long lists make you feel less motivated, so they're pointless. They'll only have you procrastinate more.

To-do list: Finished for Today!!!

Prepare a Snack Pack - 3 Easy Options

Picture by Chris Chidsey

 Our genes have not evolved nearly as fast as our food industry has. So there are times when we crave a snack, and will find one no matter what. I usually grab whatever is easiest and ready to go. I often can't be bothered to even peel an apple and will just grab something that comes in a bag.

I've found that preparing some snacks before-hand only takes a couple of minutes, but leaves me with much healthier options that are just as easy. If you're worried about losing weight, then this is an easy first step!

1. Go Nuts!
Get a nut mix from the store, or buy your favorite nuts and mix them. You can also add some raisins for a sweet touch. Don't add too much dried fruit, since it mostly has carbs that you'll burn through quickly. Nuts are fat, but that means you'll feel full longer too. And they have lots of great vitamins and minerals.


2. Veggie-fries
Peel a carrot. Cut it in strips about the size of a French fry (do NOT think about French fries, or this might go horribly wrong!) Put them in a box in the fridge to snack on when you're craving something crunchy. Other vegetables that are great for this are bell pepper, cucumber and celery.

3. Boiled Eggs
Eggs are not the dangerous bombs of cholesterol they're made out to be. They're very nutritious, carry lots of vitamins (A, B (2, 4, 6, 12) D and E) and minerals (iron, zinc, calcium, iodine, selenium) and will provide you with a good filler. If you're worried about fat and cholesterol, don't eat the yolk. 
(I do advise that you read up on cholesterol first. This is a good place to start, when you have time)
I keep some hard boiled eggs in the fridge at all times!

Want to make sure you truly enjoy your healthy snack? Check out my previous post Relaxed Snacks.

Do you  have any other ideas for healthy snacks? Let me know below!

Read Some Flash Fiction

From jorindeberben.com

Don't really have time to read novels? Do even short stories seem to take up too much time? I know what you're looking for: flash fiction.
Until a couple of months ago, I'd never heard of flash fiction. Then I came across some writing websites that mentioned them, and started investigating.

Flash fiction is limited to a rather strict word count. There are stories of less than 1000 words, less than 500 or even 100 and 50 words. They can be called flash fiction, micro fiction, nano fiction or sudden fiction.

Ready to sample some?

Find a good flash fiction source. This will save you time later! You can download a couple of stories, and take them with you for when you have a couple of spare minutes. Or you can just read one or two online from time to time. A book could make a nice gift if you want to share.
Good sources: www.flashfictiononline.com, www.flashfictionblog.com, www.everydayfiction.com (you can get daily updates from the last one!)

If you're curious about my work, I've written some flash fiction which can be found on my website.

If a novel is a banquet, and a short story the desert, than flash fiction is the cherry on top. Pop in and enjoy!
(Any ideas on where poetry would fit in this analogy?)

Recognize the Sacrifice

Picture by Paige Foster

Today is Easter Sunday, and whether you're a Christian or not, the idea of someone dying nailed to a cross to save our souls is pretty impressive. In fact, the whole concept of sacrifice is pretty mind-boggling if you think about it. Someone giving up something to help another, without benefiting themselves in any way from the act, is truly showing us the best of humanity.

There are people who have sacrificed big in our past. I think about Ghandi, Mother Theresa and Father Damian, who spent their lives trying to do good. I think about soldiers who have died for their countries and their families. I think about great leaders like Joan of Arc and Martin Luther King, sacrificing their freedom for a future they believed in.

But there are sacrifices being made in our daily lives every day. Have you given up something, only because it would make someone else happy or help them out? Have you sacrificed your time, energy or money for a good cause? Do you know anyone else who has done the same?
Take time to acknowledge the fact that someone has made a sacrifice for you or someone dear to you. Name the sacrifice, and thank the person for it.

To my dearest husband: I know you gave up your education in the States to come live with me in Belgium and work there to put me through college. I know that was a huge  sacrifice and I am truly grateful for it. I can only wish that you've found it worth it.

Has this post inspired you to recognize a sacrifice? What is it?
Do you think this is a good idea or not? Click the boxes below to let me know!

Happy Easter!

Hold the Elevator

Picture by Pam Roth

This might seem counter-intuitive. How could holding the elevator, which takes more time, save you time in the end? If you believe in karma, this is easy to answer, but even if you're a die-hard skeptic like me, it makes sense.

If you hold the elevator for others, they might pay back the favor someday. We take the same elevators every day. The one at work, the one in our building, maybe the one at the retirement home. Others take those same elevators too. Your paths will probably cross again at some point in the future.

If you see someone rushing toward the elevator, or even hear the door open and expect someone will enter, just hold the door. It will cost you a couple of seconds at most, but might save the other person a couple of minutes. 

When they repay the favor to you -once, twice, however many times- it will save you valuable minutes each time. 

As an added bonus, you will appear much nicer (whether you will BE nicer, is up to you) and it might even lead to some elevator small talk.

I've gotten to know quite a few of my neighbors this way. It's been a good opportunity to practice my Chinese pronunciation, and ask some questions about what's around.

Practice Gratitude

Last night, my grandfather passed, much sooner than anyone had expected. A couple of months turned into a couple of weeks. Pa was a real paterfamilias. He had 14 children, 45 grandchildren and 10 great-grandchildren.
I heard that he passed away in his sleep, surrounded by those who were most dear to him. Where last night I let my tears flow naturally, today I try to recover by feeling grateful.

My grandfather was an amazing man, and I can't believe I've had the pleasure of knowing him for such a big part of my life. I feel grateful for all the advice he's given me. For the time he joked that my knitting (a decorative pattern with lots of holes) would not be rainproof. For the story of his life which told us so much about his childhood. For every time he joyfully burst into song, usually cheeky songs from his childhood. I feel that over time, I've had the opportunity to really get to know the man behind our family.

I also feel grateful for how he passed. He was only really sick for a couple of weeks. He was surrounded by love, and this love has brought the whole family together, caring for my grandmother and for each other. I feel fortunate and blessed to be a part of it.

When something in life gets you down. When you lose a loved one, or come across a big disappointment, remember to feel grateful for all the good that has come into your life. In the end, I'd rather grief now over losing someone I loved, than not having known my grandfather at all.

Pa & Moeke

'Tis better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all (Alfred Lord Tennyson)

Change a Lightbulb

Picture by Marco Michelini

Sow on a button. Hang a picture. Tighten a screw.

You get the picture. There's an endless list of little chores that are so often left undone. Mine usually involve sowing on buttons or darning socks. My husband is the one who takes care of fixing tables and chairs (we live in China, things tend to come apart more quickly here than in other countries!).

To avoid a heap of chores, I try to convince myself to just do one thing. It only takes a minute, and the little tasks add up in the end.

Choose a task that you know will only require a couple of minutes. Something that's been bugging you, or has been in your 'to fix' drawer for months. Just take it out, gather what you need, and spend the few minutes fixing it. After that, be sure to enjoy the thing you've just fixed. If it's a pair of socks: wear them! I don't care if it's 100° outside (though you might). If it's a light bulb, turn on the light (for a short while, after that, remember to go green again). 

If, after this, you feel you can keep going, by all means do. But, and this is important, don't force yourself! Otherwise you'll only be building a resentment of the activity, and it'll take so much longer to change that bulb again next time.

Kiss Slowly

Picture by Steve Todey

Kissing someone is the most intimate thing you can do, be it your spouse, boyfriend or girlfriend, best friend, sibling, parent or child.
My husband and I have been married nearly 5 years, and let's face it, things aren't quite the same as they were when we first fell in love. I'm quite glad they aren't though. We went from skyrocketing highs to bottomless lows (trans-Atlantic relationships can do that to a person) in a matter of days.


The one thing I sometimes do miss, is the intensity of the affections. Sometimes, when the days seem to fly by without us being able to have some 'us' time, we just halt for a moment to show our affection with a long, tender kiss.

First of all, find someone to kiss. When you have found a suitable man/woman/child/pet, make sure this person or animal actually wants to be the recipient of your kiss, or you may discover how to duck fast instead of kiss slowly.
When you kiss, try to express your feelings for the person through your lips. Your love, passion, respect and admiration can all show in a kiss. How much you've missed someone. How glad you are to see them. How much you love them. Just remember, you're kissing sentences here, not just words. Make the gesture count. Bolster it with sincerity.

For those of you who want all the details (you cheeky little deviates), a standard kiss between my husband and I will last for about 30 seconds. And trust me, it makes up for a lot of fast-paced, hectic hours!

Who could you embrace to show your affection to? Maybe a grandparent that's been hoping you'd visit? A child that is looking for your approval?

Save Seconds by Signing up!

How do you keep enriching your life by making the most of the five minutes you have to spare? Easy: Sign up for the email updates or the RSS feed of this Blog.

Look at the top right corner of the page. See those sign up boxes? They're there for you!
Enter your name in the email slot or click the Feed icon to sign up. You'll receive a confirmation email within minutes.
Signing up can save you the trouble of surfing to the website. Beware, however! For those of you who already receive a lot of email and feel overwhelmed as it is, maybe it's still better to just add this Blog to your bookmarks and return to it when you feel like it.
Either way, your time's yours to spend!

Feel like someone you know could use a breather or some useful advice? Share your favorite posts by using the buttons at the bottom. You can use email, blogs, facebook and twitter.

By Ilco

I receive regular updates of a couple of  blogs, but might leave the messages unread until I have time to read them. I sign up so that I don't miss anything I might want to read. Blogs I've subscribed to are ZenHabits and Scott Young's blog. Both are dedicated to advice that might make a difference in your life.

Small Talk, Big Benefits

Living in and traveling to different places has taught me a couple of things. One of them is that small talk is anything but a meaningless time-filler. It's actually helped me make friends and meet the most interesting people. It's how I met my best friend in college and my husband (on-line small talk counts!)
I'll talk to people on the bus, waiting in line at the post office and when we're coincidentally walking in the same direction (it's more awkward if you don't!). Ilka Flood, author of enlightenednetworker.com, even met a new friend by picking up a call from an unknown and wrong number! Read her story here.

See that other person who's just standing around, doing nothing, much like you are? Try a friendly smile and a tentative 'good afternoon'. If they bite (return the smile and greeting, and don't roll their eyes or raise certain fingers), try a comment about the weather. Alright, I know what you're thinking. 'The weather? Really? That's the best you can come up with?' Well, Yes and No. Talking about the weather is safe. You probably won't step on anyone's toes, and most people can respond comfortably without having to think too much about it. Make it interesting though: 'Can you believe we've had snow like this for 5 days in a row already? Last year we had none!' is better than 'It's snowing a lot these day, isn't it?'

Try compliments too ('that's a gorgeous coat') or remark on the situation you're in ('Did you check out any of the airport shops yet?'). A couple of minutes of conversation can lead to infinite possibilities!

A Chinese model and me at the Yantai Auto Show in 2010

Do you use public transport a lot? It's a great place to have interesting conversations. I once met a young, gay, South-Korean man on the train. He had just gotten married in Belgium. He'd been living in the country for over ten years, and no one in his home country even knew he was gay. He was now considering telling his sister about it and going back home to see his family. It was such a moving story!

Ever gotten to talking with someone just because you happened to be in the same place at the same time? Did it lead anywhere? I'd love to hear your comments!

Write a Haiku in 3 Minutes

Remember when your teacher declared that there's a poet inside of everyone, even you? You learned to write limericks and free verse. You wrote love verses to your secret crush and 'Best Mom Ever' poems for Mothers' Day. If you're like me, then you still occasionally write a couplet, but I think most of you probably don't.

Well, how about giving it a go again? Just a quickie. A real fast and easy one. A Haiku!
The only thing you have to be able to do, is count syllables. (For those of you who've forgotten what syllables are and how to count them, you can check the amount per word in most dictionaries. I use Webster when in doubt).
A Haiku has three lines.
Line 1: 5 syllables
Line 2: 7 syllables
Line 3: 5 syllables

You'll need pen and paper, or a computer (how convenient!) and an image of a moment in nature that you find interesting or appealing. Start describing that moment and count the syllables on your fingers while you talk. Make it short and snappy. If you've got too many syllables, put them in the next line, or replace some of the words. 
Usually, the topic deals with nature, but who am I to tell you what to do. I've made birthday-haiku's and haiku's about books. 
Write your haiku on a piece of paper and stick on on the fridge. Better yet, put it in your spouse's lunchbox, or send it as a message to your mother and brighten her day! You'll be rewarded with hours of gratitude!

As a practiced haiku writer (all those classes I taught on how to write them served as good exercises), this example only took me 103 seconds:

Bright pink fades into
Pristine white and scented leaves
Magnolia in Spring





I'd love to hear what you come up with. Please share in the comments below!


(Photo by Yana Ray, courtesy of www.publicdomainpictures.net)

Play Dead - Corpse Pose

I'm a fervent yoga-practitioner. By 'fervent' I mean I get up to do it every morning around 5:30, before I start my day (unless a late night before compels me to sleep in).
That's usually where the yoga stops, except for one pose: corpse pose.
I can use this one throughout the day, instead of a nap or to help me get to sleep faster. It goes like this:

Picture by Ali Farid

Lie down on a flat, somewhat soft surface. No pillow needed. The key is to have a surface that's comfortable but doesn't sag too much. Some couches work, some beds do too. Here in China, the mattresses are super hard, so great for this exercise.
Now, let your hands lie down on either side of you, a little away from your body. Palms facing up. Let your feet fall open, a little apart. Move your shoulders down a bit (helps support your neck).
Then, try to consciously relax every part of your body. Go over your feet, up to your waist, hands, shoulders, neck, even mouth and eyes. Imagine everything going soft.
The key is to let go. Let go of thoughts that are popping up. I usually imagine them as balloons filled with helium: I see them for a brief moment and then they float away.

This is a great tension-releasing exercise that only takes a couple of minutes. It does wonders for your mental and physical health, and re-energizes and refocuses your mind.

Here you can order the instructions for corpse pose in case you prefer listening to it a couple of times. It can really help you get used to the feeling. After a while, you'll be able to relax almost instantly and reap the benefits even faster!

Put it Away... Right Away

Picture by Dominic Morel

It's been a busy day at my school. I've collected students' essays, notes and picked up a bag of groceries on the way home. I ran into a new colleague, who gave me his business card. I've just come home with a lot of extra stuff.
Luckily, I know exactly where everything should go. Students' essays go on my desk to correct, after which they will be filed. I read the notes and either file or discard them. Groceries go in the fridge. Business card goes in the drawer. In about 2 minutes, I have saved myself the hassle of cleaning up a pile of stuff later.

When you come into your house, take the time to put everything in its right place. You probably have a spot where you keep your change, your keys, your purse.
How about putting that cup in the sink when you're finished with it? Put the cookie wrapper in the trash can right away.
When you go to bed, take a minute to evaluate the current state of your outfit. Does it have another day in it? If not, straight to the laundry bin. If yes, but you won't wear it tomorrow: Fold it and put it back in the closet. It'll save you time when you get it back out.

Putting things away after you use them and are done with them makes sense! It helps you keep a clear home and a clear mind. It doesn't take much time, but it makes much time!

Now, if only I could remember where I put my glasses.

Starting's a matter of Seconds

Picture by Eran Becker

There are some things, like visiting the dentist or cleaning the kitchen cupboards, that I seem to put off indefinitely. I usually leave it until the time I have no choice but to do it: My tooth is threatening to fall out; we're moving out of our apartment.

I suggest you learn from my mistakes! For most other projects that I tend to put off, I've started to follow this simple technique. I just focus on the initial start instead of the whole task.

There's no 'doing' something without 'starting'. You always have to start first.
Luckily, the starting is also the easiest part. How difficult is it to call the dentist? Just pick up the phone and dial the number. Don't think about the chair and the drill yet, that'll follow later.
How about you open the kitchen cabinet first. Start with the smallest one. Take out everything one by one. Now it's already half done. The starting builds momentum to continue on the path.
Decide to start on something. Identify the first step and then take it!

I recently finished the book  'The Now Habit' by Neil Fiore and it really helped me to just take the time to start something, without worrying about the next steps. 'Starting' is not nearly as intimidating as 'doing'.

Musical Minutes

Remember those teenage years when you listed 'listening to music' as an actual hobby? Everyday, I'm faced with students telling me this is one of their favorite past-times, and I have totally forgotten how to do it!
To reconnect to my love of music, I decided to set aside 5 minutes once a week, to just listen to music.

Picture by Gabriella Fabbri

Go somewhere you can be undisturbed. Lie or sit down and relax.
Put on one of your all time favorite songs. Most songs don't last longer than 5 minutes, if yours does (If it's Paradise by the Dashboard Lights, for example), then either choose to spend more time on this activity, or split it up in different sessions (although that's kinda frustrating). 
Put on the song and listen to it carefully. Close your eyes, don't sing along. Just listen.
Try to forget what comes next and let the music take over.

Music with stories is great for this. My all time favorite song to savor? Loreena McKennitt's Lady of Shallot from her album The Visit. That's for those of you who have 11:30 minutes to spare instead of five.

What songs do you listen to over and over? What are they about, mostly?

Relaxed Snacks

Most of us have grown accustomed to snacking while being in the middle of another activity. We bite into an apple as we run out the door. We eat a protein bar in front of the computer screen. We have a piece of cake while talking to a friend. Let's face it, we're never quite alone with our food, are we?
All this distraction distracts us (duh!) from the experience of eating our food.
Have you ever suddenly realized you finished a snack, but can't quite remember what it tasted like? You got so caught up in doing whatever else you were doing, that the eating became automatic. It's a sure way to make you eat more. Now how's that diet going? Losing weight yet?

Picture by Martin Boulanger

Right, so that's not the way we want to go.
How about you try this next trick when you're about to eat your next snack.

Find a place where it's just you. If you're at the office, put the screen saver on for a while. Are you at home? Then ask the kids to give you just 5 minutes.
Unwrap, peel, prepare your snack with care. Put it on a nice plate. Get a class of water or a cup of coffee on the side. All this shouldn't take you very long. A couple of minutes at most.
Sit down and look at your snack. Anticipate how it will taste, how much you want it, how it'll make you feel.
Then, take a bite. Savor it. Be aware that there is only one first bite, and it's the best bite. Take a sip of water or coffee and ... repeat.

It will seem as if you're taking much longer to finish your snack, but the focused activity of eating takes you away from all the other stuff and lets your mind relax. You will start again on your other activities with renewed energy.

Remembering Memories

Last night, I received some bad news. My grandfather is in the hospital with lung cancer. The doctors give him a year at most, but he might just as easily not make it to his next birthday in August. It is now exceedingly likely I will never see my grandfather in person again. I live on the other side of the world and can't visit as often as I'd like.
I have taken to stealing minutes here and there in my busy day to take solitary walks down memory lane.

I close my eyes and imagine driving up to my grandparents' driveway. I open the door to the house, and smell the familiar scent of coffee and fruit pies. My grandfather is reading a book in his favorite chair. I greet him with a kiss on his stubby cheeks. His warm hand grabs mine, and we start to talk.

My grandparents' driveway

In the conversation, we discuss his childhood adventures, the day he met my grandmother, life as a chicken farmer, and the many children and grandchildren that he's been blessed with.

As the images fly by, more and more pop up that I thought I'd forgotten.
The conscious effort of remembering brings to light even more memories through association.
In a matter of moments, I feel comforted and blessed with memories of a life well-lived.

In a matter of minutes, years of shared meals, conversations and embraces passed by.