Worth Every Minute: Alternative Gifts

It's that time of the year that shop owners rejoice in the splendor of holiday spending. In my family we usually manage to keep things quite limited, but I can't help giving into buying gifts for friends and family from time to time.

Luckily, both my hubby and I have been out of the Christmas atmosphere for two years now (Christmas is not a big holiday in China), and it's been easy to avoid buying things like decorations and typical holiday foods. It's made December a lot less expensive than it used to be.

But looking forward to spending more holidays with family, we'd like to find more ways to keep the gift-buying to a minimum because neither of us is a big fan of 'stuff'.

That's why I was so happy to come across a ZenHabits post on alternative holiday gifts. I immediately felt like sharing (even though it took me about a week to do so).

Interested? Get all the goodness here:

The No New Gifts Holiday Challenge by Leo Babauta on Zen Habits.

For more articles and videos worth watching, check out the whole series of Worth Every Minute here.

Write a Daily Gratitude List

Picture by Nannette Turner

One of the habits that I picked up last year was due to reading the book 'The Secret'. Some of the lessons of that book were a little far-fetched, and believing the universe will just give you anything you want is a little too easy for my taste, but I did take one advice to heart: to feel grateful every day for the things you already have in your life.

One way to help you focus on this is to write down the things you feel grateful for each day.

When you write your gratitude list and how you do it doesn't really matter. It's the effort of recognizing the things in your life that should be the focus of your effort. I like to write mine at the end of the day, going over the day in my mind again and feeling the joy and peace of mind that comes with reliving those special moments. I then fall asleep with a feeling of bliss and sleep better having put worries out of my mind.
But you could also keep the list with you and jot down things throughout the day as they occur to you. That way you will be reminded of seeing events in their most positive light and to feel lucky each and every moment.

Give it a try, you never know what it might do for you!

I don't think being grateful for what you have will necessarily get you more. It's not a quick-fix to becoming rich. But it does allow you to feel happier with what you already have, which will add riches of a much more worth-while kind to your life.

20 Things to Feel Grateful For Every Day!

(source)

Recognizing the good in your life is a great short-cut to happiness. Finding out what you already have and how you really feel about it will show you that you may be much happier than you realize already. And to help you get along in counting the blessings in your life, I've assembled a list of 20 things we can all be grateful for every day (or at least the majority of us).

This list is guaranteed to cheer you up!

1. The fact that you're alive! Out of all the zillion possible human beings that could have been created, the fact that we are the ones that made it. Our parents met, they fell in love (or into bed drunkenly), out of all the possible combinations that could have come from that union, we are the ones that came into being. The chances of existing are so tiny that we should feel grateful every day to have made it.
   
2. To be living on a planet that not only sustains, but also provides for the life on it.
   
3. Your health.
   
4. For the food you can eat.
   
5. The ability to read, learn, experience life.
   
6. A brain that has the ability to comprehend its own magnificence.
   
7. Your family, the love they feel for you and you for them.
   
8. Your friends.
   
9. The roof over your head and walls around you that keep out the rain, wind or sunshine.
   
10. The clothes that keep you warm and protected.
    
11. The money that allows you to buy what you need.
    
12. The purpose in your life, be it work, study, taking care of the family or searching for a new purpose.
    
13. The kindness of strangers: a seat offered on the bus, someone who holds the door open, help bagging your groceries.
    
14. The warm fuzzy feeling of waking up and taking 3 extra minutes in a cozy bed.
    
15. A hot cup of coffee/tea/coco on a cold day. A smile when you're sad. A surprising ray of sunshine through dark clouds.
    
16. The amazing benefits of the modern world: your phone, computer, the internet, fridge, running hot water, etc.
    
17. The memories you can access whenever you feel like it.
    
18. The experiences that made you who you are today, be they bad or good ones.
    
19. The knowledge you have acquired over the years and how it benefits you every day.
    
20. The awareness of everything you can be grateful for.

It's not difficult to think of things to be grateful for. They will be different for everyone, but these 20 will be common to many of us. Being reminded of the things we take for granted can open our eyes to the wonders of life. 

Triple Inspiration: Thanksgiving Edition

I've been teaching all my students about gratitude this week, and will be doing next week. I'll write another post on the importance it has played in my life tomorrow (aka I will write it today and it'll be posted tomorrow!)

So this week I'd like to put the focus on feeling grateful, using some quotes to inspire you. Technically Thanksgiving of course celebrates the harvest and the sharing between two completely different cultures, but it's also a great time to take a moment of feeling grateful for what we already have, before heading out to become the mass-pre-Christmas-consumers that we are.

Get Productive!

"As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation 

is not to utter words, but to live by them."

(John F. Kennedy)

Get Happy!
"He is a wise man who does not grieve for the things which he has not, 

but rejoices for those which he has."

(Epictetus) 

Get Inspired!

"There is not a more pleasing exercise of the mind than gratitude.  It is accompanied with 

such an inward satisfaction that the duty is sufficiently rewarded by the performance."  

(Joseph Addison)

Busy Days Require Treats

(source)

How do you keep from getting totally stressed out on your busiest days? If you're not in a 9-5 job (or even if you are) some days are bound to be busier than others. For me, as a private tutor, Friday and Saturday are my busy days, and I need something to treat myself during those days. So I've made it a habit to treat myself after my last class on Saturday, to make sure I make it through those rough days.

During our busy days, it's a great motivator and comforter to be able to look forward to a treat. It can be anything you enjoy: a nice hot bath, a pizza, a movie night with a friend, a nice glass of port. Important is that, just as much as those busy days, it becomes a regular part of your week. 

My treat? On my way back from the school I stop by the bakery to pick up a chocolate muffin. We don't really have cookies in the house, so something sweet really is a treat (unless I bake it myself). Knowing that after my class on Saturday I get those 5 minutes of pure chocolate-y happiness actually has me enjoy the busy hours. 

Rewards don't only work for children or pets, and they don't have to be given by others either. Treating yourself is the only way to make sure that the effort is worth the treat at the end. You're the best judge of your own effort and the reward that fits best.

Do you give yourself a weekly/daily treat? What effect does it have on you?

I love to read comments below! It really helps me get an idea of the post you readers enjoy. For those of you who would like to receive updates of these episodes, you can sign up for the RSS or e-mail feed at the top right of this website!

Jumping Back on the Wagon

Picture by Odense Bys Museer

Since last summer, I've been slacking off a bit when it came to productive and life-improving habits. Sure, we were still eating healthy and I'm still finishing all of my class preparations, but that's about it. I haven't really been focusing on the long-term goals and the house-hold and my blogs have suffered too.

This has been bothering me, and maybe some of you too.

My hubby and I have been waiting for paperwork to get out of China and finally see our US family again. This being in-between where we were and where we want to be has left us feeling like we don't really care so much about the present anymore.
But just sitting around waiting is a waste of time. Especially if it just goes on for months without any idea of when it might get better.

Well, I'm done with it. And for those of you who have started hibernating and letting go of some of the great habits you've built up: this is for you too.

Over the months from September 2010 to August 2011, I started some great habits. I built them up slowly, but by June 2011 we were getting up early, getting daily exercise, eating well, blogging daily, and feeling great about all of it. I loved that time, but when I got first trimester morning sickness, it became impossible to keep up with. 

Now I want it back, but it seems like so much to do at once.

So what do you do? Start with one thing. Build up the habits the way you did before. Today I started with one of the first habits that I picked up before, and the easiest one for me: making a daily plan. I take out my diary (which has been gathering dust on the messy desk in the never-used office) and wrote down a rough outline of what I plan to do each hour. I left some space open to fill in later, but that'll slowly get filled up too. 

It worked pretty well. My day was much more productive than they have been this week, and I felt a lot more energetic. 

When we give up on a habit, we often think that's it. We tried it and clearly it didn't work. But it doesn't have to be that way. An ex-smoker who falls off the wagon doesn't have to settle for smoking for the rest of their life. A busy mom who's gained weight doesn't have to forget about exercising forever.
We each have our times when it's difficult to do the things we know are good for us, and make us happy.

When the time is right, however, you will feel the urge to get back into gear and you can feel confident knowing you've already succeeded once before!  

Write a Thank-You Note

Most of us are so used to the people around us, we sometimes take them for granted. Yes, I admit it, I do it too! We forget the little things that people do for us in our daily lives, because we've gotten used to them or are too buy to notice them. But stop to think for a moment of all the little things YOU do for someone else. That's easier to remember, right?
Maybe you did the dishes this morning? Did you hold the elevator? Did you surprise someone with a beautiful poem?

Thank-You-Note for my brother-in-law

Think about a person in your life that you see often, probably daily. Now, think about how this person has changed something in his/her behavior to accommodate you. What did they do? How does it make you feel?

Write your feelings on a nice card or a random piece of paper. Only handwritten notes allowed! Leave it for someone to find on this Thanksgiving Day. If you receive a Thank-You-Note, pay it forward!

Remembering Our Veterans

Photo by Tijl Vercaemer

Today is in both Europe and North America an important day. We remember the end of the World War I and all those who fought to protect their homeland and the homes of others. In Belgium and France, which both still carry traces of the trenches and where farmers still dig up bombs from time to time, this day calls us back to a time of horrors that are unknown to us now. But how do you get beyond the ceremony and find a meaningful way to personally remember fallen and surviving veterans?

A great way to pay our respects to the victims and the ones who lived through it is by looking around us and appreciating what peace has brought us. Notice the amount of wealth and stability we can live in, the many young men that are able to pursue other careers than those on the frontiers, and the feeling of safety that we can enjoy. 

But also take a moment to think about those who are still fighting and suffering in wars worldwide. There are people who wake up every day fearing for their lives, and the lives of those they love. Although their problems may seem far off, keeping in mind that our fathers, grandfathers and great-grandfathers were in the same position can help us relate and connect. 

I find that it helps me to remember and appreciate if I try to do some random acts of kindness throughout the day. I pay extra attention to those around me to see if there is some small kind of suffering I may be able to relieve.

Do you do anything special on this day? Does it mean anything to you?

On Being Ignored

Picture by Michael Westley

Today, as I took the bus home from school, I saw two American girls on there that I have noticed before. I've met them once at a party, but we never really talked.Still, it's quite common for foreigners in Yantai to greet each other without ever having met before and strike up a random conversation, so imagine my surprise when I looked at them and they didn't look back but kept on chatting! I took my seat, and at the next stop they got off, walking by me as if I didn't exist (or was just another Chinese person they'd never met before).

The whole thing seemed kind of ridiculous, and I couldn't help wondering the rest of the way home, why they didn't acknowledge that I was there. Perhaps they don't really remember me and feel awkward; perhaps they are severely Euro-phobic, perhaps they thought I wasn't one of the cool crowd, etc. The ideas became gradually more ridiculous.

So next time you find yourself in a similar situation, do what I did in the end: absolutely nothing!
Unless you have a sure way of finding out why someone is ignoring you, just stop worrying about it. Clearly you were not meant to be great friends, and you may not be losing out on much not getting better acquianted with this person. 

Whatever someone may or may not think about you is often more of a reflection of them, than it is of you. You have little to do with other people's perceptions, because that's what they are: perceptions. They are not reality. 

After I gave up trying to figure out why I was being ignored, I looked around and saw how many people do notice me every day: The lady who gave up her seat for me, friends who pass me on their bicycles, students that see me from far away. It can be unsettling to find someone ignore you, but I'm sure it's the exception! 

Worth Every Minute

In my limited reading last week, I came across an article on Re-Psych, a blog I read even if I don't have time for many of the others. It was so eye-opening for me, that I want to share it with all of you. Angeliki talks about little moments we often forget about.

I don't want to give too much away and just gently nudge you in the direction of the post. All you have to do is click the link.

Watch out for the spaces in between by Angeliki on Re-Psych

 For more articles and videos worth reading/watching, click here.

Radio: The Forgotten Companion

Picture by Rafael Kage

How long has it been since you've turned on the radio when you were at home? Just to listen to it while you're doing something else, like household chores? It undoubtedly depends on your age, but I would venture a guess that it's been a while. The exception may be your daily commute, or your morning alarm.
What a shame. Radio is one of the things I miss most from home. The national channels have some great shows on in Belgium, and I loved listening to the British BBC channels as well. Thankfully, on many websites you can now listen to some of your old favorites, or listen to shows you may have missed because of your busy schedule.

Why would you listen to radio instead of keeping the TV on? For one, most radios are much more portable, but more importantly, you can listen while you're doing pretty much anything that doesn't require you to talk or write. 
What's more relaxing than peeling potatoes while listening to the radio, singing along or getting informed and entertained at the same time? Time to dust off that old piece that's been sitting in your closet for years! 
If you don't have a radio, you could use your computer or buy a small one. They're dirt cheap now! A better way may be to ask around if anyone you know (who doesn't read this blog) has a radio they're not currently using. Old radios work just as well as new ones.

You can find radio programming on the station's website. You'll probably figure out which shows you like quickly, and they may even become a part of your daily routine.

Let me know if you find any great shows that I might be able to listen to here in China! I'd love to get to know new stuff.

Tip for the Flemish readers: on the Radio 1 Webplayer you can listen to old episodes of, among others, 'Bromberen', which is such a favorite of mine I've listened to many of the episodes multiple times!

Triple Inspiration In a Single Minute

Another Sunday in which I feel like updating ;-) I admit that the blog has been kind of slow, but I'm now finally starting to feel better (almost no more nausea) so trying to pick it up when I have some free time.

Today's quotes are as much to inspire myself as they are to inspire you, my dear readers. Feel free to add any great ones that you've come across lately to the list!

Get Productive!

"I am capable of what every other human is capable of."

(Maya Angelou)

Get Happy! 

“People tend to think that happiness is a stroke of luck, something that will descend like fine weather if you’re fortunate. But happiness is the result of personal effort. You fight for it, strive for it, insist upon it, and sometimes even travel around the world looking for it. You have to participate relentlessly.”

(Elizabeth Gilbert)

Get Inspired!

"We must not allow the clock and the calendar to blind us to the fact 

that each moment of life is a miracle and a mystery."

(H.G. Wells)

Fall Color Feast

Picture by Lee Cannon

It's that time of year when all around us the leaves are changing color. Every Spring and Autumn I'm torn between which season is my favorite, and this time I'm again noticing all the splendor of Fall in Yantai, China. It's probably the driest season here, which means that the leaves all seem to change color at slightly different times. So each tree has a whole range of different shades going from green to yellow, orange, red and everything in between.

Running around from one place to another, we don't always take the time to notice the changing seasons around us. It seems as if a year flies by unnoticed and we just need one of those little tricks to help us slow down time and make the most of every moment.
One of the ways to make time pass more slowly is by noticing the details around us more. It makes time expand in our mind at the present time and in our memory, because filling your mind with detailed memories of a certain day or couple of hours makes that time feel more intense after. That's why, in our memories, the weekend we spent sightseeing in France seems so much longer than the week of work before (for more on this see this post).

So take a moment this season to notice all the gorgeous colors around you and take a minute to breathe in the fresh autumn air! Sure, it'll come around again next year, but that's no reason to miss out this year.

Being more aware of the present moment is something I strive to about 50% of the time (aka when I'm not asleep these days).
Any other ideas of how to do this? Share your ideas, blog posts, articles, and so on, in the comments below!