Ten 5-Minute Tips for a Happy Marriage

5 years ago ...

Today is our wedding anniversary. The 5th one already and probably the last one we'll be celebrating with just the two of us for a while. After this year, we'll have our little one with us, so we'll be making the most out of the time we have left.

Five years is not a very long stretch, but we have both already learned a lot during this time. We come from very different back-grounds and got married quickly and unexpectedly in order to be able to stay together. That meant we had to figure out some stuff along the way.

One of the reasons we are so happily married is that we love to do stuff for each other. Treating your partner doesn't have to take a lot of time or preparation.
Here are some of the things we have surprised each other with over the years:

1. Do a chore
   We both love to come home and find the place cleaner than we left it. Just a little clearing away can already make a big difference. It doesn't take much time, but the effect is very noticeable. My hubby loves coming home and finding the dishes are done, for example.
   
2. Leave a note
   Finding a note with a sweet message is always a lovely surprise. You can leave them at home or put them in between a book they're reading.
   
3. Give a back rub
   Especially a tense partner, but really anyone, enjoys the relaxing feeling of a massage. Just sneak up behind them and massage the shoulders and neck. It can make someone relax instantly and feel connected again even if they're mind is busy working over-time.
   
4. Bring a treat
   I love it when my husband brings home a chocolate muffin that I didn't expect, and vice versa. We don't do it too often, so it stays surprising.
   
5. Plan some together time
   When we are home together, it's sometimes easy to just each settle by ourselves (him in front of the computer, me doing my cross-stitch) and not take advantage of the time we have together. It's always nice when we make a plan to spend at least some time playing a game together or watching a movie. Be pro-active here and don't wait for your partner. If they are too busy, they'll let you know when you ask.
   
6. Prepare conversation topics
   It's not a sign of a bad relationship if you prepare topics to talk about. My husband and I can talk for hours without them, but we've learned a lot about each other by using a book with couple's questions and working our way through them. There are just so many topics that never get brought up in daily conversation.
   
7. Ask questions
   Communication is vital. Asking your partner questions about their day and their thoughts will make them feel like you really care. Pay attention to the answers and respond to them too. If they ask you something ("How was your day?") be sure to return the question too!
   
8. Say 'Thank You'
   Showing appreciation for what your partner does can make any task seem worthwhile. I wouldn't do the dishes, ever, if I thought my husband didn't care at all. Knowing he appreciates what I do makes me want to do it. It makes all the difference!
   
9. Bring up a fond memory
   You can use pictures or tell the story of a great time the two of you had together. "Remember when we..." It calls up all the feelings of that happy moment and brings them into the present moment. Using photo's and reminiscing about how different things were back then can show you both how far you've come and appreciate the time you've had together.
   
10. Cuddle, hug, kiss
    A hug out of nowhere is the best treat. It's warming, comforting, reassuring, and a great reminder of how loved you are. I've written about kissing before in this post. Want to know about the benefits of hugging? You can read this post too.

What do you do to surprise your partner? If you're single, what do you expect from a partner in a long-term relationship?
Every relationship is different, but there's something to learn from each of them. Use the comments to share anything you want!