Moments That Matter Journal

(source)

Forget about minutes that are worth hours. Some seconds in your life are worth centuries and then some because of their intense quality. They are the moments that make up your life and that, put together, might be the one movie you'd never get tired of.

Intense emotion has the ability to stretch time. And some moments have this emotional charge. Looking at my little girl's face, it seems like I'm floating into eternity. And anyone who's ever fallen in love knows what I mean when I say that a look can last a lifetime.

Today, I want to urge you to cherish those moments of pure living in the moment, and to write them down. Keep a Moments That Matter Journal.

Pick a notebook that you can keep on your bedside table (so the size of the notebook kind of depends on the size of that table). In nice, swirley letters, write "Moments That Matter Journal" on the first page. 
Now, every night, before going to bed, think of a moment that day that really mattered. One that you think will stick with you in the long run. 
Mind, this doens't have to be a 'happy happy joy joy' kind of journal. Life's made up of all kinds of moments, and the happy ones are only some of them. Moments of intense pain, sadness, fear, surprise, love, etc., all have a place. 

 What moment in the last week would make it into your journal? I hope you'll share in the comments below! Let me know you're out there!

Ten 5-Minute Tips for a Happy Marriage

5 years ago ...

Today is our wedding anniversary. The 5th one already and probably the last one we'll be celebrating with just the two of us for a while. After this year, we'll have our little one with us, so we'll be making the most out of the time we have left.

Five years is not a very long stretch, but we have both already learned a lot during this time. We come from very different back-grounds and got married quickly and unexpectedly in order to be able to stay together. That meant we had to figure out some stuff along the way.

One of the reasons we are so happily married is that we love to do stuff for each other. Treating your partner doesn't have to take a lot of time or preparation.
Here are some of the things we have surprised each other with over the years:

1. Do a chore
   We both love to come home and find the place cleaner than we left it. Just a little clearing away can already make a big difference. It doesn't take much time, but the effect is very noticeable. My hubby loves coming home and finding the dishes are done, for example.
   
2. Leave a note
   Finding a note with a sweet message is always a lovely surprise. You can leave them at home or put them in between a book they're reading.
   
3. Give a back rub
   Especially a tense partner, but really anyone, enjoys the relaxing feeling of a massage. Just sneak up behind them and massage the shoulders and neck. It can make someone relax instantly and feel connected again even if they're mind is busy working over-time.
   
4. Bring a treat
   I love it when my husband brings home a chocolate muffin that I didn't expect, and vice versa. We don't do it too often, so it stays surprising.
   
5. Plan some together time
   When we are home together, it's sometimes easy to just each settle by ourselves (him in front of the computer, me doing my cross-stitch) and not take advantage of the time we have together. It's always nice when we make a plan to spend at least some time playing a game together or watching a movie. Be pro-active here and don't wait for your partner. If they are too busy, they'll let you know when you ask.
   
6. Prepare conversation topics
   It's not a sign of a bad relationship if you prepare topics to talk about. My husband and I can talk for hours without them, but we've learned a lot about each other by using a book with couple's questions and working our way through them. There are just so many topics that never get brought up in daily conversation.
   
7. Ask questions
   Communication is vital. Asking your partner questions about their day and their thoughts will make them feel like you really care. Pay attention to the answers and respond to them too. If they ask you something ("How was your day?") be sure to return the question too!
   
8. Say 'Thank You'
   Showing appreciation for what your partner does can make any task seem worthwhile. I wouldn't do the dishes, ever, if I thought my husband didn't care at all. Knowing he appreciates what I do makes me want to do it. It makes all the difference!
   
9. Bring up a fond memory
   You can use pictures or tell the story of a great time the two of you had together. "Remember when we..." It calls up all the feelings of that happy moment and brings them into the present moment. Using photo's and reminiscing about how different things were back then can show you both how far you've come and appreciate the time you've had together.
   
10. Cuddle, hug, kiss
    A hug out of nowhere is the best treat. It's warming, comforting, reassuring, and a great reminder of how loved you are. I've written about kissing before in this post. Want to know about the benefits of hugging? You can read this post too.

What do you do to surprise your partner? If you're single, what do you expect from a partner in a long-term relationship?
Every relationship is different, but there's something to learn from each of them. Use the comments to share anything you want!

Remembering Our Veterans

Photo by Tijl Vercaemer

Today is in both Europe and North America an important day. We remember the end of the World War I and all those who fought to protect their homeland and the homes of others. In Belgium and France, which both still carry traces of the trenches and where farmers still dig up bombs from time to time, this day calls us back to a time of horrors that are unknown to us now. But how do you get beyond the ceremony and find a meaningful way to personally remember fallen and surviving veterans?

A great way to pay our respects to the victims and the ones who lived through it is by looking around us and appreciating what peace has brought us. Notice the amount of wealth and stability we can live in, the many young men that are able to pursue other careers than those on the frontiers, and the feeling of safety that we can enjoy. 

But also take a moment to think about those who are still fighting and suffering in wars worldwide. There are people who wake up every day fearing for their lives, and the lives of those they love. Although their problems may seem far off, keeping in mind that our fathers, grandfathers and great-grandfathers were in the same position can help us relate and connect. 

I find that it helps me to remember and appreciate if I try to do some random acts of kindness throughout the day. I pay extra attention to those around me to see if there is some small kind of suffering I may be able to relieve.

Do you do anything special on this day? Does it mean anything to you?

Fall Color Feast

Picture by Lee Cannon

It's that time of year when all around us the leaves are changing color. Every Spring and Autumn I'm torn between which season is my favorite, and this time I'm again noticing all the splendor of Fall in Yantai, China. It's probably the driest season here, which means that the leaves all seem to change color at slightly different times. So each tree has a whole range of different shades going from green to yellow, orange, red and everything in between.

Running around from one place to another, we don't always take the time to notice the changing seasons around us. It seems as if a year flies by unnoticed and we just need one of those little tricks to help us slow down time and make the most of every moment.
One of the ways to make time pass more slowly is by noticing the details around us more. It makes time expand in our mind at the present time and in our memory, because filling your mind with detailed memories of a certain day or couple of hours makes that time feel more intense after. That's why, in our memories, the weekend we spent sightseeing in France seems so much longer than the week of work before (for more on this see this post).

So take a moment this season to notice all the gorgeous colors around you and take a minute to breathe in the fresh autumn air! Sure, it'll come around again next year, but that's no reason to miss out this year.

Being more aware of the present moment is something I strive to about 50% of the time (aka when I'm not asleep these days).
Any other ideas of how to do this? Share your ideas, blog posts, articles, and so on, in the comments below!

Triple Inspiration: 9/11 Edition

(source)

Today is the anniversary of the worst terrorist attack the world has ever seen. So many lives were lost. So many more changed forever. It's difficult to imagine how different the world would be now if those two towers were still standing.

Ten years ago, I was 16 and came home from school one day to images of utter devastation. In a couple of hours, the world as we knew it had changed forever.

I don't think anyone who saw those images will ever forget them. They are burnt on our retinas. The feelings of that day still seem as fresh and as unreal.

Today I want to share three quotes to commemorate that awful day.

"We acquire the strength we have overcome."

(Ralph Waldo Emerson)

"Adversity has the effect of eliciting talents which, in prosperous circumstances, would have lain dormant."  (Horace)

"We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope."

(Martin Luther King, Jr.)

Take a Snapshot

Picture by Rob Owen-Wahl

Photo's have become our windows into the past. We take tons any chance we get. But it's not always the moments that matter, the little everyday moments, that get captured. It's usually the big trips, the family holidays, the exciting excursions.

I love taking a picture of something I enjoy from time to time. It could be a particularly nice set of rolls I baked, or a walk we took to the beach, or a picture of my hubby in the kitchen. These everyday pictures are put together and serve as a slide show of how much our lives are changing over the years. I get to see the different hairstyles, the changes in decor, the different people who surround ourselves with.

On a random day, just take the camera and look around your house for something to take a picture of. Take ONE picture. Don't take a ton because it defeats the purpose of trying to make the picture something significant. 
Also, we take too many photographs of the same things anyways, so try to look for something different and interesting. A corner of your house you don't often pay attention to. Someone in your family doing something very mundane like washing dishes.

These pictures can also make a great selection to show your children and grandchildren someday, to show them how life was in 2011. What kind of gadgets did people use? How did they dress? That sort of thing. Just like looking back at snapshots of our parents can give us a glimpse of what life was like when they were young.

I still have pictures of my mother ironing, and doing dishes in the kitchen. I have pictures that show the house we used to live in, and the garden outside. I have pictures of old friends that I may not talk to anymore, but still cherish very fond memories of.

Do you use your camera outside of holidays and special events? How do you use your pictures?

Triple Inspiration: Douglas Adams Edition

It's Sunday again, and it is now an established and trusted tradition, that Sundays start off with three quotes to inspire you for a productive, happy and inspired working week.

Today, the quotes come from my all-time favorite author: Douglas Adams. He was the author of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy and the four other books that made up the trilogy.

He was also a famous atheist, and cared deeply about the way the planet was (d)evolving. But most of all, he is remembered for his extraordinary sense of humor.

Get Productive!

"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by."

Get Happy!

"I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be."

Get Inspired!

"Let us think the unthinkable, let us do the undoable. Let us prepare to grapple with the ineffable itself, and see if we may not eff it after all."

Bonus: one of my favorites as an extra
"Isn't it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too?"

Take a Mental Holiday to Stimulate Creativity

(source)

I recently had the luxury of spending 5 hours on a bus going through the Chinese countryside, i.e. being thrown from side to side and shaken up and down more times than when I was 5 and sitting on the back of my mother's bicycle as she conquered the Bruges' cobble stones.
As it was too bumpy to read (my eyes kept jumping around the pages) and I didn't dare get out my electronics since everything kept being lurched out of my hands, there was absolutely nothing to do but sit and wait for it to end.
...

And wait some more.
....

And then some.
...

And ... Wait! All of a sudden, I caught myself thinking of something. A glimpse of an original thought. An idea.

Your in-between and waiting time is not wasted time. It's time that has been given to you to let your mind do its own thing. You are in control of your mind, mostly. You guide its thoughts and you choose the input minute to minute. Your mind thus walks predictable paths every day, and after a while, this mental routine becomes your reality. It's who you are.
But hold on now, one sec. Do you really think it's possible to know all that's going on in your mind? Are you even aware of all your thoughts? How about all your memories? Can you honestly remember and think every thought in your brain? 
And isn't it possible there are thoughts in there that you didn't put there, but that arose out of that mix of neurons and axons without your knowledge?

Leave you brain alone for some time and follow your thoughts to where they lead you. Get lost in thought, but make sure to keep pen and paper ready, because you may just find your best idea yet.

On that bus, bouncing incessantly, I came up with a new plot for a novel and a couple of short story ideas. I found myself getting inspired and itchy about writing again. New ideas appeared vividly and effortlessly, or so it seemed.

Let me know what crazy/inspiring/weird/fun/beautiful thoughts pop up in your mind if you just let it wonder for a bit.

Summer Projects

Picture by Pam Ramsey

If you are like most people (statistically speaking that's very likely), you probably have some hobbies that you loved at some point in your life, but don't really perform anymore. If you're anything like me, you could make a page-long list of former hobbies and interests that you discontinued a couple of months into them.

When I stop doing something I am (or was) really interested in, it's always with the fullest intention to go back to it someday. Someday I'll play harp again. Someday I'll pick up Spanish again (and French, German, Chinese and Italian for that matter). Someday I'll get into dancing again. Sounds familiar?
I think summer (or any season you happen to have an extended holiday) is a great time to relive some of your old passions.

Take 5 minutes to rummage through your attic. Get out those boxes, and dust them off. See if you can rekindle your previous passion, and if not, at least you can cross it off your list of unfulfilled intentions.
Summers carry a risk for me. I don't have to teach (or a lot less) so my days tend to get filled doing rather pointless stuff. An example? Yesterday I spent the entire day watching sitcom episodes, so in the end I had to write a Minutes Worth Hours post 30 minutes before it was due to be published. Not really the way I like to work. 

Finding something different to focus on, especially something that you are excited about but haven't done for a while, is a great way to stay energetic and feel like you're making full use of your time. It's finally the moment you can invest in doing what you love. 
If what you love is lying in the sun and reading a book, that's great! If you love watching the Tour de France, that's awesome! But make sure you choose how you spend your time, don't let it just slip by unnoticed, or in a couple of weeks, you'll wonder where the summer went.

What kind of things do you do on your free summer days? Do you take a lot of time to relax? Do you do stuff you can't do during the year? I always love to get some inspiration for a meaningful way to spend my free time!

MWH Travel Tips: 9 - Write a Postcard

(source)

In my youth, vacations were inextricably connected to postcards. We sent them and we got them. It was considered a common courtesy to send postcards to immediate family and close friends, and it was a joy to receive pictures from all over the world showing you where your family and friends had been that summer.

Nowadays, it seems that the postcard is slowly becoming extinct. There could be several reasons for this: It's expensive, it takes time, it wastes paper. All of these are good reasons not to send a postcard.
But do you know what's a great reason to make the effort anyways? They're AWESOME!

I've bought postcards of places only to remember them and show them to other people. I've even used them as classroom gifts! They're very popular and they last much longer than printed photo's because of how sturdy they are.

Sending a postcard doesn't necessarily have to take a lot of time or cost a lot of money. Before you leave on a trip, get a piece of paper and write down the names and addresses of people you would like to send a card to (or bring your address book). When you find cards somewhere, just buy a bunch together (usually cheaper).
At a quiet moment, write down a name and address on every card. When you've done that, you  can write messages on them whenever you have time. See a postal office? Buy some stamps, put them on the cards, and drop them off.

It's easy and your friends/family will love it.

Alternatively, if you don't want to spend any money, you're too late to send a card or the country you're in doesn't have postcards (hello China!), you could find a picture of the place you're traveling in, and send an email. Generic messages work, but try to change them a little and send individual emails. Blogs are better than group emails.

So what are your feelings toward greeting cards? Do you love them? Hate them? Do you ever send/receive any? I really wonder if this is a fading phenomenon. What do you think?

MWH Travel Tips: 6 - Delete Your Pictures

Picture by Nimble Photography

It's a disease of the new age: holiday snaps that pile up on your computer endlessly. And let's admit it, do you ever get to going through all of them and selecting the best ones to put in a nice album? Well, we don't. Usually, it takes us months, sometimes years, to start organizing all those pictures.

One of the ways we've found to limit the amount of pictures to sort out, is by going through our camera at various times during the trip. This can be on the train or bus, waiting in the airport, or while our food is being served.

I suggest you go through your pictures as often as you can. We often get caught up in thinking that every picture we take is an invaluable memory, but remember those trips you took where two rolls of film was all you had? Now, does it seem like you have less memories from that trip because you took less pictures? Of course not! Your memory may be less vivid because of how long ago the trip was, but the pictures play no role in that.

Deleting your pictures as you go along will also help you save space on your flash card, although nowadays that's not such a big issue anymore. It will make a difference when it comes to videos though.

The major advantage is the experience of going through your pictures when you go home, however. Now, you only have to look through the good pictures, and choose which ones of those to keep. Or, just keep them all!

Going through your pictures while on the trip, is a great way to enjoy the pleasures of that day again. You get to relive the experience and discuss it with your travel companion(s) or the people you meet. Traveling becomes a more intense and rewarding experience.

MWH Travel Tips: 3 - Impression Diary

Keeping a travel journal can be quite a bit of work. Writing down a full overview of the day each night is not something I associate with taking a break. Writing is my work, although I love it (and couldn't NOT do it), I don't like to feel obligated. So I keep a small notebook with me, to jot down impressions whenever I feel like it.

My travel notebook.

I suggest you buy a notebook that you like, or find one that you already have but stopped using (if you're like me, there are about 20 of these around in your house somewhere).
Keep it in your daily backpack, with a pen/pencil close by or attached to it. 
Whenever you see something remarkable, or get a sudden moment of inspiration, write down a little note to remind yourself of it. What do you see? Why is it so remarkable? How does it make you feel? It only takes a couple of minutes to jot down the essentials.

You can use these notes to write journal posts later, making it easier to know what to write about, or to add to your photo-album later as anecdotes and explanatory comments. 
You may find that the optional nature of these notes makes you far more likely to write them down. And if you don't, there's no need to feel guilty, since they were optional to begin with!

Do you keep a travel journal? Do you blog while you're on the road? Why or why not?
I find that having a computer with me just leaves me out of touch with being out of touch.

5 Minute Meaningful Fathers' Day

If you've been on this blog for a while, you may have read my post on how to have a meaningful Mothers' Day in only 5 minutes. Well, of course, I won't forget about all those dads out there that deserve just as much love and attention.

So what can you do in a couple of minutes to give your Dad an extra treat on his special day? How about reversing the roles, for a change? Instead of wanting your dad to be proud of you, show him that you're proud of who he is!

When you're growing up, there comes a time when you realize that your parents are also just human. All of  a sudden, your dad isn't Superman anymore, but a person who makes mistakes, just like you and me. I remember that realization as being quite painful. 
Yet now, 15 years later, when I think of my Papa, I see a 'Superman' again, be it of an altogether different kind.

When my father was the age I am now, I was born. Thinking back on the years that followed, my early childhood, I'm so impressed with how good a father he was at such a young age. That's not the only thing I'm proud of. I'm proud to be the daughter of a man who is intelligent, kind, funny, playful and a wonderful teacher to his children and his students. A man who has found the key to life in enjoying every moment. He doesn't put off celebrations to a future day, but celebrates the here and now, with a glass of wine and some potato chips! That's something I aspire to every day, and this blog is an extension of that desire!

This Fathers' Day, let your dad know you're proud of him for who he is and what he's achieved. What has your dad done that makes you proud? What kind of person is he?

Browse Your Photo Album

Most of us take a camera on every holiday we go on. We bought one right before we moved to China, so we could be sure to capture every new experience. When we get back from a trip, we might share some of the pictures with friends and family, post them online to be viewed, or get them printed. If you're a real follow-upper, they'll even end up in a nice album. And then?

How often do you watch last year's pictures? How about the pictures of your college days? Your childhood?

Found a couple of spare minutes? Use them to get one of your albums out, or open a picture folder on your computer (Albums do make for WAY better presentation!). Get a cup of ... (favorite beverage), find a comfortable seat, and just let your eyes wander over (and wonder at) all the memories. 

You don't have to look at pictures for hours, to be reminded of them. You could just look at a couple of pages/photos, and experience the joys that were associated with that moment. 

I'd usually advocate focusing on the future rather than on the past, but when it comes to photo's, I can't help enjoying the walk down memory lane.

If you don't know how to present digital pictures well, consider getting some digital albums printed. There are a lot of websites that'll let you make wonderful books. They look great, and are much less bothersome than the original print & glue ones.

5 Minute Meaningful Mother's Day

To every mother who reads this Blog: Happy Mother's Day! You are the reason we are all here, and the reason we live happily and healthily. You have given your lives to raise us and take care of us. We are eternally grateful.

To all those of you who HAVE a mother, read on to get the scoop on how to give your Mom a meaningful Mother's Day in 5 minutes (preferably on top of all the flowers, chocolate and surprise breakfasts you're bestowing on her.)
Mothers have this inexplicable (check back in a couple of years and I'll be able to explain it) fascination with their children's childhood. They remember them as if they were the golden years. Talk to them about first steps, scraped knees and school report cards, and they go all teary-eyed.

How about surprising your mother with one of your fond childhood memories this Mother's Day? A time when you needed her, and she was there. Or a time when it was just the two of you, and you did something special together.
Call your Mom and tell her you were just (reading this blog and) thinking about that time when ... . Thank her for being there. Who knows, you might just make her day!

My fond memory? My mother used to write my little notes after I'd just learned to read. She'd put them in my lunch box, or on the table for me to find after I got home from school. I don't remember what they said at all, I just remember being delighted at finding one every time.
Dank u Mama!