5 tips on how to be patient

Photo by Daniel Schwen

Being patient is not a luxury. With how much there is to do every day, it seems like we spend an awful lot of time waiting around for stuff to happen. Think about waiting for the bus, or the mail, or standing in line at the grocery store.

With people too we need to practice patience. If you have children, you'll know what I mean. If you don't have children, think of other peoples' children and you'll know what I mean.

So how do you do it? How do you become a patient person? Below I'll give some tips on how to be patient for those out there who haven't got a clue, or just need a bit of patient advice.

1. Become religious. It's much easier to wait around for stuff to happen if you believe that God/Allah/the Flying Spaghetti Monster has a plan for you that is unfolding as we speak. If you are too old for fairytales, move on to 2.
   
2. Recognize that you have a problem. If you're waiting and hopping, biting your nails, looking left and right, swearing under your breath or, worse, swearing out loud, you may have an issue with patience. Recognize that this is perfectly human and you are now willing to change your misery.
   
3. Take a deep breath and relax. Recognize that the situation you are dealing with is beyond your control (or if it's not, ask yourself why you're letting yourself suffer without changing it, that's just weird!). Try to let go of wanting to control it and just go with the flow. Pay attention to your surroundings and try to observe where you are, who you are with, what it's like to be alive!
   
4. Use your time to let your mind wander. We don't do this nearly enough! Think of something you've been pondering for a while and give it your full attention. I bet you time will be flying by!
   
5. When dealing with difficult people (toddlers for example) try to imagine the other person's state of mind and point of view. Whomever you're dealing with may not be able to think straight (or not have the mental capacity to do so, like the toddler) or feel overwhelmed by emotion. Not a good time to loose your cool. Feel confident that this will change in a couple of hours (if you're lucky) or years (toddler-case).

I've been blessed with quite a bit of patience, but also with a child that's finding new ways every day to test it. Therefore, any extra tips you may have to offer, please shoot them my way!

Triple Inspiration: Winter Edition

Another week gone by. How did it go? Ready for a new one yet? Maybe some quotes can inspire you to look forward to another Monday. I know I can always use a bit of extra motivation to get started.

It's been a wintry week here, so today's quotes are related to the season. It may be my least favorite season, but there are still plenty of things I love about winter.The holidays are an obvious example, but I also love snowy landscapes, winter foods and the crisp clear air of a frosty morning.

Now, without further ado, let's share some quotes.

Get Productive!

"To shorten winter, borrow some money due in spring."
(W.J. Vogel)

Get Happy!

"If we had no winter, the spring would not be so pleasant: if we did not sometimes 

taste of adversity, prosperity would not be so welcome."
(Anne Bradstreet)

Get Inspired!

In the depth of winter I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer.
(Albert Camus)

Get Wintry!

"You can't get too much winter in the winter."
(Robert Frost)

Want to get those quotes every Sunday, and a whole lot of other interesting tips through the week? Sign up for the e-mail updates or the RSS feed at the top right of the page. 

5 Ways to Keep Bed Rest Interesting

Picture by Ahmad Ridhwan

So my doctor put me on a mild version of bed rest for the time being. I'm choosing to see it as a forced holiday instead of the drag it's usually made out to be, and am planning to make the most of it. How do you do that?

The internet has made it much easier these days to do a whole bunch of things even if you're not allowed to go out or get out of bed except for bathroom trips and showers.
This is how I plan to get through the next two weeks and what I would suggest to other people. These tips can all be applied in 5 minutes or less, but will be worth so much more:

1. Plan your day
   Even if you don't have to do anything, no work, no responsibilities, it will make your time much more enjoyable if you have something planned to do. Think of a rudimentary schedule so you have an idea of what you will do when.
   
2. Start a project
   Having something productive to do can make you feel less helpless and useless. If all you need to do is rest, but you're otherwise in good health, then it's easy to get restless while resting (as contradictory as that may sound). Having a project to work on, such as a craft, writing, or other assignment, can make you feel like you're using your time well.
   
3. Invite friends over
   Being confined to the house will probably mean that you're not interacting with others as much as you're used to. No more casual conversation at the grocery store or at work. To maintain your link with the outside world, invite friends over for a cup of tea and a piece of cake.
   
4. Limit your break-time activities
   Don't be tempted to play a computer game for 5 hours or watch three movies in a row. Then you may feel that instead of relaxing you're just forcing time to go by, and time becomes your enemy instead of your friend. Remember that time, any time we have, is a gift that we'll never get back. Seeing it that way will ensure that you find a great use for it!
   
5. Start learning something new
   How about picking up a craft or learning a new language? Get a 'Dummies' book or a good tape and start studying. Find something you've always wanted to study but never had time for and do it.

The reason I sort of know what to do is that I've had holidays which resemble house arrest. I would stay at home all day and do nothing, and then feel horrible after. So I figured out ways to use that time effectively. Sure, bed rest puts a limit on the kind of activities you can do, but these days there is still so much left.

Have you ever been put on bed rest or house arrest because of a medical condition? How did you pass the time? I'd love to hear more ideas to make the most of my obligatory holiday.

Here's hoping you'll never be put on bed rest, and that if you are, these tips might make it more bearable for you.

Write a Daily Gratitude List

Picture by Nannette Turner

One of the habits that I picked up last year was due to reading the book 'The Secret'. Some of the lessons of that book were a little far-fetched, and believing the universe will just give you anything you want is a little too easy for my taste, but I did take one advice to heart: to feel grateful every day for the things you already have in your life.

One way to help you focus on this is to write down the things you feel grateful for each day.

When you write your gratitude list and how you do it doesn't really matter. It's the effort of recognizing the things in your life that should be the focus of your effort. I like to write mine at the end of the day, going over the day in my mind again and feeling the joy and peace of mind that comes with reliving those special moments. I then fall asleep with a feeling of bliss and sleep better having put worries out of my mind.
But you could also keep the list with you and jot down things throughout the day as they occur to you. That way you will be reminded of seeing events in their most positive light and to feel lucky each and every moment.

Give it a try, you never know what it might do for you!

I don't think being grateful for what you have will necessarily get you more. It's not a quick-fix to becoming rich. But it does allow you to feel happier with what you already have, which will add riches of a much more worth-while kind to your life.

Fall Color Feast

Picture by Lee Cannon

It's that time of year when all around us the leaves are changing color. Every Spring and Autumn I'm torn between which season is my favorite, and this time I'm again noticing all the splendor of Fall in Yantai, China. It's probably the driest season here, which means that the leaves all seem to change color at slightly different times. So each tree has a whole range of different shades going from green to yellow, orange, red and everything in between.

Running around from one place to another, we don't always take the time to notice the changing seasons around us. It seems as if a year flies by unnoticed and we just need one of those little tricks to help us slow down time and make the most of every moment.
One of the ways to make time pass more slowly is by noticing the details around us more. It makes time expand in our mind at the present time and in our memory, because filling your mind with detailed memories of a certain day or couple of hours makes that time feel more intense after. That's why, in our memories, the weekend we spent sightseeing in France seems so much longer than the week of work before (for more on this see this post).

So take a moment this season to notice all the gorgeous colors around you and take a minute to breathe in the fresh autumn air! Sure, it'll come around again next year, but that's no reason to miss out this year.

Being more aware of the present moment is something I strive to about 50% of the time (aka when I'm not asleep these days).
Any other ideas of how to do this? Share your ideas, blog posts, articles, and so on, in the comments below!

Look on the Bright Side

Photo by Bruce Turner

The oldest advice in the book, and one I'm repeating today mainly because I need to remind myself of it.
I thought I was done teaching university students English here in China, turns out I'm not. Our boss had assured us we would only get two or three classes, but has set us up with a full schedule after all due to a teacher shortage.
So, not really what we were expecting or hoping.

That means it's time to take out those pink goggles and see the world in a whole new light: A bright light.
Teaching more classes means getting paid, keeping busy and active, meeting other foreigners on a more regular basis, etc. There's lots of good aspects too.

Just found out some bad news? Maybe you have to perform a task that you don't feel up to, or you need to meet with someone you really don't like. Maybe you just found out that an event that you'd been looking forward to, fell through. 
Take a few moments and try to spin the situation in the most positive light possible. 
Don't worry if it doesn't feel quite right yet. It takes a while for all those negative emotions to fade away. Try to regularly think of this task/event/change of plans in that positive light. Accept that there is nothing you can do to change it. Envision the positive results you will get once it's finished. 

Unpleasant tasks can come with great rewards, especially if they're challenging. Plans that fell through open up space to create new plans or take some you-time, and they can help you save money (if the plan was going to a show, for example.)

As you can tell, thinking positive is not easy. But it doesn't take a lot of initial effort, it just takes persistence. Write down some silver linings on pieces of paper and hide them where you know you'll find them (on the fridge, in your wallet, under your pillow).
We can't always control the way our lives unfold, but we can control the way we look at it.