Spreading Christmas Cheer!

Picture by Stephen Durham

It's the tinsel-carol-jingle time of year again. My absolute favorite holiday. But I'm spending it in a country that doesn't care so much about it. So how do you get into the Christmas spirit when others around you don't care so much?

Find others who do. Spend your time with people doing something very Christmas-y, like caroling or making sugar cookies in cute Christmas shapes. 


Decorate. Use some lights, cut out some decorations if you don't have any, in short make the room more express the Christmas cheer for you. 


Watch a Christmas movie. My favorite is Love Actually, always gets me in the mood for Christmas. 

Listen to Christmas music. They can get on your nerves sometimes, sure, but those good old classics will definitely set the right tone. 


Read a Christmas story. A first one that comes to mind is 'A Christmas Carol', but there are many more. They're hart warming and a great way to get into the giving spirit yourself.

We've just moved to a new apartment that doesn't have Internet to await the time when we will move to the US. Until that time I won't be able to update (end of January, probably).
Hopefully you'll find plenty of other blogs to keep you busy, and I promise to get back to blogging as soon as possible!

Happy Holidays!
Jorinde

Ten 5-Minute Tips for a Happy Marriage

5 years ago ...

Today is our wedding anniversary. The 5th one already and probably the last one we'll be celebrating with just the two of us for a while. After this year, we'll have our little one with us, so we'll be making the most out of the time we have left.

Five years is not a very long stretch, but we have both already learned a lot during this time. We come from very different back-grounds and got married quickly and unexpectedly in order to be able to stay together. That meant we had to figure out some stuff along the way.

One of the reasons we are so happily married is that we love to do stuff for each other. Treating your partner doesn't have to take a lot of time or preparation.
Here are some of the things we have surprised each other with over the years:

1. Do a chore
   We both love to come home and find the place cleaner than we left it. Just a little clearing away can already make a big difference. It doesn't take much time, but the effect is very noticeable. My hubby loves coming home and finding the dishes are done, for example.
   
2. Leave a note
   Finding a note with a sweet message is always a lovely surprise. You can leave them at home or put them in between a book they're reading.
   
3. Give a back rub
   Especially a tense partner, but really anyone, enjoys the relaxing feeling of a massage. Just sneak up behind them and massage the shoulders and neck. It can make someone relax instantly and feel connected again even if they're mind is busy working over-time.
   
4. Bring a treat
   I love it when my husband brings home a chocolate muffin that I didn't expect, and vice versa. We don't do it too often, so it stays surprising.
   
5. Plan some together time
   When we are home together, it's sometimes easy to just each settle by ourselves (him in front of the computer, me doing my cross-stitch) and not take advantage of the time we have together. It's always nice when we make a plan to spend at least some time playing a game together or watching a movie. Be pro-active here and don't wait for your partner. If they are too busy, they'll let you know when you ask.
   
6. Prepare conversation topics
   It's not a sign of a bad relationship if you prepare topics to talk about. My husband and I can talk for hours without them, but we've learned a lot about each other by using a book with couple's questions and working our way through them. There are just so many topics that never get brought up in daily conversation.
   
7. Ask questions
   Communication is vital. Asking your partner questions about their day and their thoughts will make them feel like you really care. Pay attention to the answers and respond to them too. If they ask you something ("How was your day?") be sure to return the question too!
   
8. Say 'Thank You'
   Showing appreciation for what your partner does can make any task seem worthwhile. I wouldn't do the dishes, ever, if I thought my husband didn't care at all. Knowing he appreciates what I do makes me want to do it. It makes all the difference!
   
9. Bring up a fond memory
   You can use pictures or tell the story of a great time the two of you had together. "Remember when we..." It calls up all the feelings of that happy moment and brings them into the present moment. Using photo's and reminiscing about how different things were back then can show you both how far you've come and appreciate the time you've had together.
   
10. Cuddle, hug, kiss
    A hug out of nowhere is the best treat. It's warming, comforting, reassuring, and a great reminder of how loved you are. I've written about kissing before in this post. Want to know about the benefits of hugging? You can read this post too.

What do you do to surprise your partner? If you're single, what do you expect from a partner in a long-term relationship?
Every relationship is different, but there's something to learn from each of them. Use the comments to share anything you want!

Worth Every Minute

My advice from the doctor last week was to drink more water, because she feared I might be dehydrated. Naturally, I'm not one to argue, but I am one to inform myself, and that's how I came across the following article that I thought was really interesting. It talks about the health benefits of drinking water, and how it can help you stay fit by burning fat and nurturing your muscles.

It's a short article, a 2-minute read at most. Hopefully it'll inspire you to drink more water too. If you want to get some tips on how to drink more water, you can read this post.

Read the article and get re-hydrated!

Health Benefits of Water - How 8 Glasses a Day Keeps Fat Away

Treasure Your Tears

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In a culture that revolves around happiness, there seems to be less and less room for those moments in between ecstasy. We try to forget that life is made up of more than joyful times and that we experience a whole range of emotions that make life complete.
As a very melancholic child, I was semi-addicted to sadness. I'm not that way anymore. At all! I'm overall a very positive and happy person. But that doesn't mean I can avoid all pain in my life. Or that I would want to. I've recently come across tears more than usual in my life, my own tears and those of others. And today I want to urge you to treasure the tears that make it into your life.

So what's the benefit of feeling sad? How could you savor tears? And why would you want to?

First of all, think about what your tears are telling you. You're unhappy, sure, but why? Something or someone that you deeply care about is affected in a negative way. 
Even if you wish the situation were different, right now, it's not. So rather than ignoring a bad situation, try to accept it and deal with it as it is. 

How can the tears help?
For one, they show you that you have something in your life worth crying over. That, in itself, is a blessing. Life is full of distractions we hardly care about. Nobody cries over a missed TV episode. If it makes you cry, it matters.

But tears are also a first step toward action. They express your grief and carry in them the desire the change the situation that has occurred. If that's not possible, your tears can at least show you that you have come to terms with and realized what happened. You've accepted. You won't cry if you're in denial. Then, grief is a first step to healing.


But don't only treasure your own tears; accept the tears of others also as a window into who they are. It takes a lot of courage for someone to cry in front of another person, and this vulnerability provides the opportunity to really connect and comfort. Having someone feel comfortable enough to do that shows how strong your relationship really is. Don't try to hush up someone's tears, or try to make them stop crying. Instead, accept it and try to receive them with an open mind and an open heart.

So far my opinion on what it means to cry. I realize it's kind of a dark topic, and that I may seem to go a little over the top, but I can't help carrying my heart on my sleeve. If you're a regular reader of this blog, you already know that. If you're new, you may find out soon enough.

I know it's a sensitive topic, so dare I ask?
How do you feel about crying? Be it by yourself or in company, do you try to avoid it altogether?

Triple Inspiration: Winter Edition

Another week gone by. How did it go? Ready for a new one yet? Maybe some quotes can inspire you to look forward to another Monday. I know I can always use a bit of extra motivation to get started.

It's been a wintry week here, so today's quotes are related to the season. It may be my least favorite season, but there are still plenty of things I love about winter.The holidays are an obvious example, but I also love snowy landscapes, winter foods and the crisp clear air of a frosty morning.

Now, without further ado, let's share some quotes.

Get Productive!

"To shorten winter, borrow some money due in spring."
(W.J. Vogel)

Get Happy!

"If we had no winter, the spring would not be so pleasant: if we did not sometimes 

taste of adversity, prosperity would not be so welcome."
(Anne Bradstreet)

Get Inspired!

In the depth of winter I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer.
(Albert Camus)

Get Wintry!

"You can't get too much winter in the winter."
(Robert Frost)

Want to get those quotes every Sunday, and a whole lot of other interesting tips through the week? Sign up for the e-mail updates or the RSS feed at the top right of the page. 

Hire Someone Else - Trade Jobs

Picture by Iain Farrell

There are some tasks which are more suited to some people than to others. I actually know people who enjoy cleaning, and I'm one of the few people I know who doesn't mind ironing. But I'm sure there's plenty of things that you don't really like to do. How about hiring someone else to do them for you?

When I say 'hire' someone, I don't necessarily mean paying someone else to do your chores for you. You could also trade tasks with another member of your household or a neighbor.
Do you know that your neighbor or friend really loves gardening but hates cooking? How about trading responsibilities and asking them to help you out in return for a home-cooked meal?

If you have no one to trade with, and can afford it; consider actually paying someone to do those things for you you don't enjoy.
My mom recently hired a cleaning lady and really loves it. It has helped her free up time for things she enjoys doing. I once worked for a place that does people's laundry for them (I helped with the ironing, naturally.)I have a friend in China who pays a student to help her out with errands, and loves how much trouble it saves her.

Thinking that spending an hours wages on an hours pay is not a good use of your money only makes sense if you don't enjoy your job. If you do, wouldn't you rather trade one hour at a job you enjoy for the hour of chores that you hate?

Do you employ anyone or use a service to help you out with stuff? Do you ever regret the money you spend on it? How about chores in your house?

5 Ways to Keep Bed Rest Interesting

Picture by Ahmad Ridhwan

So my doctor put me on a mild version of bed rest for the time being. I'm choosing to see it as a forced holiday instead of the drag it's usually made out to be, and am planning to make the most of it. How do you do that?

The internet has made it much easier these days to do a whole bunch of things even if you're not allowed to go out or get out of bed except for bathroom trips and showers.
This is how I plan to get through the next two weeks and what I would suggest to other people. These tips can all be applied in 5 minutes or less, but will be worth so much more:

1. Plan your day
   Even if you don't have to do anything, no work, no responsibilities, it will make your time much more enjoyable if you have something planned to do. Think of a rudimentary schedule so you have an idea of what you will do when.
   
2. Start a project
   Having something productive to do can make you feel less helpless and useless. If all you need to do is rest, but you're otherwise in good health, then it's easy to get restless while resting (as contradictory as that may sound). Having a project to work on, such as a craft, writing, or other assignment, can make you feel like you're using your time well.
   
3. Invite friends over
   Being confined to the house will probably mean that you're not interacting with others as much as you're used to. No more casual conversation at the grocery store or at work. To maintain your link with the outside world, invite friends over for a cup of tea and a piece of cake.
   
4. Limit your break-time activities
   Don't be tempted to play a computer game for 5 hours or watch three movies in a row. Then you may feel that instead of relaxing you're just forcing time to go by, and time becomes your enemy instead of your friend. Remember that time, any time we have, is a gift that we'll never get back. Seeing it that way will ensure that you find a great use for it!
   
5. Start learning something new
   How about picking up a craft or learning a new language? Get a 'Dummies' book or a good tape and start studying. Find something you've always wanted to study but never had time for and do it.

The reason I sort of know what to do is that I've had holidays which resemble house arrest. I would stay at home all day and do nothing, and then feel horrible after. So I figured out ways to use that time effectively. Sure, bed rest puts a limit on the kind of activities you can do, but these days there is still so much left.

Have you ever been put on bed rest or house arrest because of a medical condition? How did you pass the time? I'd love to hear more ideas to make the most of my obligatory holiday.

Here's hoping you'll never be put on bed rest, and that if you are, these tips might make it more bearable for you.

To Cocoon or Not to Cocoon

Photo by Andrew Spenceley

It's raining. It's gray. It's dark and gloomy. There's no good reason at all to go outside. Actually, there doesn't seem to be much reason to leave the bed. At all. Ever again!
I'm sure I'm not the first and only person who has this kind of response to the typical fall weather. It's so common in Belgium I'm sure we have chronic sufferers. Here in Yantai, it's sunny nearly all the time, however, so it takes some getting used to again.

There are different ways of responding to this kind of weather, and I want to cover my favorite and my friend's favorite. I love to cocoon, she prefers to get out and find some fun.

What is 'cocooning' in my understanding? Staying inside, with a hot drink, and something you enjoy doing. Ideally you go under covers right after dinner with a cup of tea and a nice book. You use various techniques for staying warm to counter the cold and dreary outside atmosphere. You create a kind of opposite environment inside. Great tools for this are color (pillows, blankets, curtains), candles, cheerful music, sweet food. 
A few of these touches might make a big difference in your day.


But that's not what you do if you're Lisa (my friend). She refuses to let the weather dictate her moves and instead seeks out fun and interesting activities out of the house. She'll meet with others, have Christmas caroling practice or go shopping. Anything not to feel cooped up in the house for too long. 


I'm sure that what kind of house your cooped up in (and which co-habitants are there with you) would have a big impact on which of these directions you would take. But our nature (introvert or extrovert) might have something to do with it too. 

Remember that either of these ways to deal with dreary weather should help you boost up your morale. Everyone is different, so respect those who prefer to stay in/go out if you don't.


What do you do on a day like this? Are you affected by the weather or does it barely make a difference apart from the occasional beach party? I'd love to hear I'm not the only one who needs the extra boost!

Ps. Did you notice how I only used one vowel in the title?

Worth Every Minute: Productivity

I know many of you are looking for ways to become more productive. In the past, many of the posts have been about habits to become more productive, and today I want to share somebody else's take on the issue.

The post I want to share today is one about habits that are unproductive that we could let go of. It's interesting to take a look at these common activities and review them in the light of their effectiveness.

Even though the English in this post is not perfect, it's worth reading for the excellent advice it gives. For a long list, it's also pretty concise, so don't worry about having to spend too much time.
Let me know what you think! Or if there's anything else you would add to that list.

17 Unproductive Habits to Let Go by Timo Kiander on LifeOptimizer.org.

Have a little more time and want to see what else is worth reading/watching. Have a look at the other posts in the Worth Every Minute series.

Wherever You Lay Your Hat ... Makes a Difference!

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I don't like clutter. Luckily I have a husband who agrees with me, so we both try to limit the amount of stuff lying around in an unorganized fashion. One of the areas where we made some improvements is when we come into the door.
Especially in Winter, the amount of stuff you take off or put down when you enter the house is quite a lot. In addition to the usual keys and spare change, there's now a scarf, hat, gloves and thick coat. Where you put it all can affect your living space and how you function within it more than you realize.

I recommend to everyone that they keep a designated spot for the items they use every day, especially things that are easily lost and difficult to replace (keys, phone, certain papers).  
But it is of course just as important that you use those designated spots. 
When you enter the house, pay attention to putting everything exactly where it should go. I often put my coat on a chair first to then put it on the coat hanger two minutes later. What a stupid move. Doing that every day is such an inefficient way to go about it. 

So when you put down those gloves, hang up the scarf, put away the keys; try to get it right, right away. Make it a habit that you will keep for the rest of your life, so you'll never have to look for those keys, or tidy up your self-inflicted clutter.

I now understand my mother better than ever. She used to nag us every day about where we dropped our coats and left our shoes when we entered the house. She was right! She always is.

For all the Belgians and Dutch people out there: Vrolijke Sinterklaas!

6 Reasons to Hang-Dry Your Laundry

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There's not a lot of situations where I actually prefer to go for the slightly longer less convenient path than the most efficient and easiest one, but when it comes to laundry, I change my ways. I hang-dry my laundry instead of using the drier.
Okay, so one of the reasons is that we don't actually have a drier (we have a very bad one, hardly counts), but even when it was available to me in the past, I would still hang-dry my laundry whenever possible. All you need is a bit of dry space and a line or rack to hang up the clothes.
How long does it take? I'd say about 5-10 minutes. No more than that. You get more efficient too as time goes by.

So why would you opt for hanging up the laundry instead of just popping it in the drier? Here are my main reasons:

1. Environment.
   Using the drier takes up a lot of electricity. You're wasting electricity where you could just use the air around you to accomplish the same job. Even if it takes a little longer, after you hang up the laundry, you don't have to look at it until you take it down.
2. Price.
   Running a drier costs money. You have to pay for the machine and for the electricity. Wind/air is free! You'll even notice the effect more directly if you usually go to a laundromat that charges for the drying.
3. Absorption.
   Laundry that has been machine-dried just doesn't absorbed water quite as well as laundry that you dry on  line. That's also the reason I don't use fabric softener (actually, the previous two reasons are also good for not using softener: they're expensive and entirely unnecessary chemicals. Yuk!)
4. Shrinking.
   When you hang-dry the laundry, it dries at room temperature. That means you don't risk shrinking it because of the heat in the drier.
5. Lint.
   The lint from one sweater isn't swirled around and automatically transported onto every single other item in the drier. I made the mistake of putting one of my sweaters in with some sheets once and was never able to get them quite lint-free again.
6. Static.
   I can't stand static. My hair goes in crazy directions and you end up with handkerchiefs stuck to your jeans while you're running out the door. Static may be harmful to your body as well as uncomfortable.

My mother brought us up to hang-dry the laundry. I'm sure she was mainly being frugal, just like her parents before her, but in these days of economic turmoil, that may just be the best reason there is.

What about you? Do you use a drier? Ever considered using a clothes-line instead? Is there something that prevents you from doing so (bad weather, small apartment)? Perhaps we could figure out a solution together!

Triple Inspiration in a Single Minute

What are you looking forward to next week? Any busy projects lined up? Dreadful meetings you need to attend? I'm sure that whatever it is you're doing, you could use a bit of extra inspiration. I know I could. So here are the quotations for this week.

Get Productive!

"The use of self-control is like the use of breaks on a train. It is useful when you find yourself going in the wrong direction, but merely harmful when the direction is right."

(Bertrand Russell) 

Get Happy!

In the hopes of reaching the moon men fail to see the flowers that blossom at their feet.
(Albert Schweitzer)

Get Inspired!

We should not judge people by their peak of excellence; but by the distance they have traveled 

from the point where they started. 

(Henry Ward Beecher) 

Have a great week!

5-Minute Foot Bath

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Winter is one of the times we really enjoy taking a foot bath because our feet tend to get so cold. Being a writer and computer geek, we spend a lot of time sitting behind our screens and both hands and feet get cold quickly. Foot baths help heat up our feet and are relaxing at the same time. They're also a great way to pay more attention to our feet in a time when we are usually wearing socks and shoes, so don't notice them nearly as much as in Summer.
Here's how to draw yourself a quick foot bath without it being a hassle.

You start by collecting what you need: a basin/tub that's big enough for your feet (but not too big). Also get a towel ready, a pumice stone, soap, bath salts, toenail clipper and whatever you want to use on your feet. A good moisturizer is great, and have some thin socks you can put over so you don't have to step on the floor with your feet covered in lotion.


Fill up the tub with water that's a little hotter than comfortable. You can always let it cool off and you will get used to the temperature. Dissolve your bath salts in the water and add anything else you may want to (my hubby adds Epsom salts and apple vinegar to help prevent athlete's foot). Then put your tub in a convenient location and get something ready for the mean time. It can be a video, a knitting project, a nice book, an old CD. Make sure you have all your necessities nearby (towel!) and ... dip in.

Foot baths are wonderfully relaxing. And they don't have to cost tons. You can have them in the comfort of your own home and it only takes a couple of minutes to get ready.
Enjoy!

Tape Your TV-Shows

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I hate commercials! I absolutely detest them. Okay, there are some which are mildly amusing, but only for the first 10 times you see them. After that they just get annoying.
I also really don't like how they take up so much of your time. Ever tried to time how much of a show/movie's time slot is taken up by advertising? Of course, without ads there wouldn't be any television, but let others spend their time watching it and save yours!

To be honest, we don't watch ads at all anymore. We watch TV shows on the Internet, where you can watch lots of them for free on websites like Hulu. Or we rent them on DVD. I don't miss it one bit.

So what's my advice for today? Instead of watching a show the very day it's on television, tape it and watch it the day after (or whenever you feel like it). That way YOU are the one who decides when you spend your time on it, and you can fast-forward through the commercials.
It's also quite likely that you'll watch less TV if you record the shows, because you'll be thinking about what is actually worth watching instead of just popping on the couch and flipping through the channels. Watching TV used to take up quite a big part of my life, and I couldn't believe the change after getting rid of it. 

Want to read more? I wrote previously on turning your TV off and on donating your TV to charity.
Do you watch a lot of TV? Do you stay home to watch your favorite shows or prefer to tape them?

5 Quick Ways to Stay Warm in Winter

Our friend Sookie staying warm in a Belgian Winter

It's December, which means Winter for those on the northern half of the globe. This morning, the puddles turned ice reminded me that it's time to start pulling out a few tricks to stay warm.

Today I want to share a couple of those tricks I've learned over the years. Maybe you already know most, but I'm hoping some of them may be new or helpful reminders to you.

1. Dress in layers.
   One of the best ways to keep your body temperature in is by using layers to trap the heat. It's animals with thick fur stay warm too: the air in between the hairs acts as an insulation. So instead of just wearing pants, put on a pair of tights underneath. Instead of wearing thick sweaters, wear three thin ones. Summer tank tops can serve as underwear in Winter, which is a great way to save money too!
   
2. Heat it up.
   Ever tried drinking hot water? It's very common here in China and it makes perfect sense to me now. Why drink cold water in Winter when you can have the added benefit of warming up when you drink it hot or warm? If you bring your water bottle with hot water, it also acts as a great hand-warmer!
   The same goes for milk and even juice (adding hot water to juice can help it get warm and reduce your calorie intake. Then it also won't get so hot as to kill all the good stuff).
   Another bonus: drinking coffee and tea is a lot better for you than drinking soda. As long as you don't put sugar, that is.
   
   
3. Stay active.
   No surer way to freeze than to sit down and stop moving. Stomp your feet. Clap your hands. Walk to places instead of taking the car and you'll find that you'll get just as warm as in a heated car. But you'll be getting in shape, saving money and helping out the environment. It's a win-win-win!
   
4. Eat 'warming' foods.
   The Chinese believe that some foods help you stay warm while others cool you down (yang and yin foods). Eating more of the warming foods can help your body keep in more heat. Some examples are dried fruits, nuts and oats. Thinking of muesli yet? You can find more on warming and cooling foods (with a list!) on this website: Raw Foods Diet Center.
   
5. Cover the sensitive bits.
   And I mean your head and throat. We lose a lot of heat from our head (why do new-born babies always wear those cute little hats?) and our throat is sensitive too. The same goes for wrists and ankles which carry blood to our hands and feet. Keeping the extremities warm helps to keep a good circulation going, not allowing parts to cool off completely.

Any more great tips on how to keep warm? Do you have a typical Winter habit that helps you get through the dark days?

Let me know in the comments below!